Good evening – My name is Max Aswell. My master is Abe or Digger, actually his name changes depending on what he is up to. Before we go too far down this tale, I would like to explain my name for those who are a little slow in word speak. It is pronounced Max-As-well. Do you get it now? OMG come on, am I talking to a bunch of duffers? Okay, I will explain it for the slow ones in the group. Before me there was a different Max but he was just plain Max. There came a time when just plain Max passed on to Max-world. I came to Abe’s house about a month later. I was just a pup but Abe says I look just like first Max. So, Abe calls me Max Aswell. Now that is my formal name for weddings, legal papers and such, normally Abe just calls me Max.
One of my first memories was when Grayquill came to visit. I remember looking up and seeing his hairy face. I thought he looked really old. Recently he shaved and now he only has a mustache, the wrinkles are appalling; he’s older and uglier than I thought. I really don’t like Grayquill all that well. He always takes my chair when he comes over and he calls me Maxine (Grayquill is so mean). I think he does it just to bug me. I would bite him but I don’t want to dishonor my master. The other reason he bugs me is he steals all of my master’s ideas. I think Grayquill might be a bit slow he can’t seem to think up anything on his own – maybe I should feel sorry for him.
One of the more famous thievery ideas he stole was valentine’s presents for his kids. My master thought this up and let it slip; Grayquill didn’t even blink when he stole it. Since I am about to tell you this idea I guess you can use it – apparently Grayquill’s kids remember this Valentine’s Day with fond memories. Go to your local bakery and buy as many large loaves of French bread as you have kids. Turn the bread upside down cut the bottom out. Dig out most of the doughy bread from the inside of the loaf. Now fill the inside of the loaf with candy and place the bottom piece back on the bottom of the loaf. Tell your kids the economic times have been tough and the only valentines present you could afford was a loaf of bread. I guess when Grayquill did this his one daughter cried. Now, personally I think any idea that makes little children cry is horrible but Grayquill apparently doesn’t care all that much about his kid’s feelings. Come to think about it the next time he comes over I am going to bite him on the ankle.
Stay tuned I might be back – I’m not sure if I am finished yet. I might have more to say when Grayquill’s not paying attention. Something happened just today I can’t wait to tell you. You won’t believe it.