Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Hole in My Sock


I took my shoe off and there it was staring back at me, my naked heel. What happened to my sock? It was there this morning. Now it was gone it had just vanished. How does a complete heel disappear? That seemed out of kilter to me. Socks should not be allowed to disintegrate without warning. When the brakes on our cars begin to go bad there is a piece of metal that give us a warning, you know that hideous screeching sound? Surely as long as folks have been making socks one would think heels would not just up and disappear.
What if I was Muslim and went to a mosque for my mid day prayers? I am pretty sure they have to take their shoes off before prayers – that would be a bit embarrassing, don’t you think? What if I had stopped on my way home from work to buy a new pair of shoes? Well I think you get the idea. It would have been bad – all bad.
Now this is the real problem – sorry it took two paragraphs to get to it. I have a sock drawer full of socks without mates. You want to know how this happens? Please, you don’t really know? It is simple - having the same sock drawer for twenty years… you got it now? Good!
Now if a burglar was to break into my house, you know the first place he will head for? That’s right my sock drawer. Ninety-two percent of all people hid their secret stash in their sock drawer. Burglars aren’t dumb they know these things. Maybe after he became discouraged in not finding any bills he might use his observational skills honed from years of thievery and might notice all the unmarried socks. I am pretty sure he/she would think a one legged man must live here. Then he might wonder where the home owner buys socks for just one foot. That mystery could ruin his whole day and that wouldn’t be very nice would it?

17 comments:

Debra said...

Them holes appear the same way socks disappear in the clothes dryer...the clothes fairy comes to get them LOL!

The Survivor said...

The holes have kept me curious too but they are not as big as this :)

Bill S. said...

Wonderfully funny. I buy and big sack of matching socks. That way they can be like us, when one of the couple spits, my socks find another partner to hug and snuggle with. I feel an essay coming on.
Great story

Pat said...

Great picture of your wayward sock! I'm just guessing that it's mate - without the hole- will find its way back into your sock drawer. I think those mate-less socks are waiting to be made into sock monkeys so they can join the circus.

Karthik said...

A hole that BIG??!!
Well, I don't mind wearing such socks since they will be well hidden. But I change them for the exact reasons you've mentioned. :)
It was a fun read. :)

As the Mind Meanders said...

I am suddenly conscious of my socks... I will go home and hide in them...

Rose said...

Ahhhh, one of those mysteries in life we may never know the answer to. Ranks right up there with "who shot JR?" Very funny read!

Anita :) said...

Hmm...this one reminded me of my innumerable pairless socks when I was at school... and, there were holes too..! But the fact that we needn't remove shoes while at school,saved my image:-)

Sylvia K said...

Another mystery for my day and I'm going to check my sock drawer right now! Yep, definitely one of the mysteries of life -- what was that song -- ah sweet mystery of life???? Wonder if that was about socks????

Thanks for the giggle, just what I needed!

Sylvia

betty said...

Thanks for the laugh. I needed that!

Grayquill said...

Debra: The lousy clothes fairy – I wonder if she has a long tail and whiskers and goes by the name Cat?

The Survivor: Now that’s just not fair – just like life.

Bill S. You have a sick sense of humor Bill but it is so much like us humans.

Pat: I don’t even know what to say to that – I have no quick zinger and come back. I don’t even know how to make sock monkeys – maybe I could give them to my wife for Christmas with a sock monkey instruction sheet – how do you think that would work out for me?

Karthik: Yes, holes in the socks are a very risky business.

Mr. Mind: You are really really weird. How big is your sock drawer?

Rose: Who shot JR is no mystery – He wondered on to the Bush ranch and Cheney shot him – haven’t you been watching the new?

Anita: Students, they do have it rough don’t they? Now that’s a sad tale.

Sylvia: Sorry, I don’t know the song but the mystery remains.

Betty: Your welcome – I am glad I could help; men need to be needed. Thanks.

Choco said...

ROFL! You have a strange mind. You really do. And apparently an even stranger sock drawer! :D

I have a thing for branded socks to wear with my sneakers. And I loose both pairs when I do. Now I know that it is the burglar looking for my stash..... :|

Grayquill said...

Choco: A strange mind? - How can you be so sure? What brand? So the burglar stole your socks when he found no cash. Now that sounds strange.

Michele said...

So funny! I agree there is a sock fairy, there just had to be, what else explains socks disappearing from the hamper to the drawer - and I suspect that she is the one that made that GIANT hole in your sock! John has pretty much come up with a solution to this - socks in mostly one color and similar style - I don't even try to match his socks anymore, he just has a huge drawer filled with socks, whether they match or not, I don't think he cares!
~Michele

Grayquill said...

You married a smart one - keeping it simple. I think I need to go that way - the older I get the harder it is see. Last week I wore one brown sock and one blue one to work.

blunt edges said...

thinking about it...wouldn't a one-legged person use a normal pair of sock 4 twice the time than we would?

Grayquill said...

Mr. Blunt Edges: Maybe...
But then again a one legged man might wear socks out twice as fast since wherever he goes all his steps are on one leg. You just have to stick to the logic of it all! :))
Now stop being such a smart-aleck.