Yesterday I did some pressure washing on my house. I hate painting so years ago I had vinyl siding installed. What I did not know, vinyl siding builds up static electricity much like when a person who still has hair runs a comb through his nest. As a result dust is attracted to the vinyl. I don’t have to paint but I do have to wash.
While washing it seemed spiders were everywhere. Mostly those big brown ones with giant hairy legs – that tells you a lot – I suppose all spiders seem big, brown and hairy. It doesn’t really matter for the story, so let’s forget I even brought up the whole spider type thing. As I was pressure washing, I was blasting spiders off the wall left and right, wiping spider webs off my face and it seemed I was continually flicking the creep creatures off my shirt, neck and arms.
The whole spider invasion thing was creeping me out. Have you ever felt that light scampering of spider legs clicking across your skin? It is almost a tickle but not really, it is a one of a kind sensation. Well, I had now moved well past itching and now was firmly planted in the world of feeling real and imaginary creepy skitterers dashing across body parts. The trouble with spiders, they are everywhere. You know they are there but you can’t always see them. You just can’t be sure if one is hiding in some crease or fold of your clothing just waiting to bite you.
Here is the problem, itching and swatting at imaginary hair legged spiders at the top of an economy brand extension ladder is a bad idea. I was constantly fighting the urge to itch. I had to let the real and imaginary critters run up and down my arms, across my neck, and over my ears. I guess the fear of a twenty foot fall was for the most part a sufficient hindrance to keep from itching and swatting because I made it off the ladder safely.
By the time I was finished I was totally soaked. Still itching, I headed straight for the shower. As the water began coursing over my head – take a guess how many spiders I saw take a ride down the drain?
Did you guess three? Two? Four? Well I am here to tell you, you are way wrong. Not a single spider came off me. I just wondered if that question would creep you out. One spider did go flying off me when I peeled off my wet shirt in the wash room but let’s not tell Mrs. Grayquill. She is not like me who doesn’t mind spiders and is never really bothered by the hair creatures. You see, she is afraid of the little monsters. I wouldn’t want her to know that hairy creature are somewhere in her laundry room, alive, lurking, and waiting to pounce.
Are you beginning to itch? Don’t worry they only bite a little.