Thursday, March 15, 2012

Women Authors Hmmm.....

I am beginning to think that Jodi Picoult is one of those really really smart people that bug me way too much. Normally I have an aversion to reading books written by women.

Hmmmm….strange. I suddenly feel a bit of hatred radiating back at me from those of the opposite sex over this super highway?  Hate or no hate, the truth is the truth, I perfer male authors.  
A few weeks back I broke down out of sheer desperation and read a book written by the famous Jodi Picoult. Actually I read two of her books. Okay! It wasn’t out of desperation that I fell in love with Ms Picoult. It was advice from my wife that started the reading.  I so enjoyed Jodi's writing I could not resist doing a bit of stalking…….of course I Googled her – why wouldn’t I? Yip, in likity split time, I had her email address. Well, you know as well as I do getting a response from a celebrity author like Picoult would probably be close to a miracle. I knew I needed something in the subject line to get her attention. I decide to go with me true guttural feelings toward my new love - “Women Authors - Hmmm…..”

Now, those who read my blog now and then realize, I think I am pretty funny. You also know, I have come to understand that it is only the really smart people who don’t fully appreciate how funny I really am. In fact some have argued that I am the only one laughing. Well hum bug to all you cynics.
My email to Ms. Picoult after much effort finally came to completion, which I peppered with several near hysterical lines that normal people would roll off their chairs laughing at. As you can imagine off I sent my brilliant email. In it I told her she was my new favorite woman author. I felt that was quite an honor to bestow on the lovely lady.

As you can imagine I got a response back from Jodi Picoult in a mere five hours. Now here comes the rub. It seems she did not think I was funny at all or she forgot to mention it (that's probably it). Can you believe it? Well that’s all I am going to say about that. Although I did mention in my email to Ms. Picoult that even though I loved her writing and she was now my new favorite woman author, she was unable to bump my favorite all time author Louis L'Amour from the top spot. I felt I had some pretty good logic for keeping him in that high position. You know he did die a mere two decades ago don’t you? It just seems downright rude to bump a dead guy from his lofty perch; after all he isn’t even here to defend himself. Talk about kicking a guy when he is down – that seems so wrong. What do you think?
Lastly - even if Jodi Picoult is a really really smart person - I give her books a full five stars - Go buy five. "The Perfect Match" and the "Plain Truth" are great!

Today I had one of those bad moments. I was at a business affair and apparently when registering, I inadvertently either picked up or was intentionally handed a woman’s name tag instead of my own. The woman’s name tag I was handed is about four pay grades above mine.  Not that that detail matters all that much, but I do think it is worth mentioning and it could add to some of my remorse.  

Gatherings of this type often make me a bit nervous in the first place, so in my hyper focusing for the exact perfect place to pin the name tag, I really did not even look at whose name I was actually pinning on my shirt. About half way through the day, a lady who later laughed hysterically at me, with tears were running down her cheeks, ask me how I pronounced may last name. She tried pronouncing it but the sound coming across her lips was not even close to how my name should sound. I then discovered my shame and error. What makes this story extra bad. A colleague earlier had held my correct name tag up for me to see in an effort to help me out. Well in Grayquill land where the dots often connect a bit differently then say… the average person, I in my brilliance assumed some one thought I should have two name tags, probably because I am so important. Naturally I ignored my helpful friend. Sitting here confessing; I now recall several consistently odd smiles I was given earlier in the day. One etched deep in my memory is that half smile my boss gave me. I wonder if I will have that privileged chair in her office tomorrow.  Oh well, what can I say, I am Grayquill.