Saturday, September 5, 2009

Max Aswell Speaks Again


I’m back –Yes, it’s me Mr. Max Aswell at your service. First off I would be remiss if I went any further and did not thank those of you who said such nice things about me. FYI – it kinda rankled Grayquill. I heard him saying,” they like that cur more than they like me.” Hee hee hee… that’s gotta make you smile. Usually I only hear encouragement from Abe, so your words sent me over the top and I chewed on my tennis ball today in heavenly bliss.
Now if you sense my mood changing I am sorry, I will do my best to stay up beat. But, this story makes tail wagging a chore. I love my master Abe but I just don’t get it, why he sticks with this Grayquill fellow. A few months back it was Grayquill’s birthday. Now, I understand birthdays real well, I don’t really know what they are but I like them. My master floods me with treats and chewy toys on that day and says they are birthday presents. Except for my last birthday I got a collar with my name engraved on it. That seemed pretty crummy to me, I think Abe wanted me to have a collar a whole lot more than I did. I prefer running around in the buff, a collar is just so confining. Opps! Was that bad blog etiquette? I’m so embarrassed.
What's coming next Grayquill didn’t even have to steal; it was a gift from my master, Abe. He spent many hours on Grayquill’s birthday present. Things that Abe does do not really surprise me anymore. I am use to his brilliant creativity. Abe wears me out some days. He wants me to get all excited about his new inventions. I do love going with him into the mountains as he does what he calls testing. But this present for Grayquill kept us in the house and away from the mountains – another reason not to like Grayquill - Fun Spoiler- maybe that should be his new name.
My favorite place for a nap is in my master’s office, in the summer it’s cool and in the winter a nice space heater keeps me warm. I usually sleep right beside Abe just so he can reach over and scratch my ears now and then – it helps him when he touches me – I don’t really get it but if it helps him, I will lie close. I will do most anything for Abe.
The present for Grayquill got to be a little irritating, only because Abe had to tell me about each part along the way. It seemed like I would just get to sleep and suddenly and loudly, “Max, listen to this, ‘In need of a quick pick me up. You drank 67 cups of Chi Tea. Three hours later they found you passed out in your TeePee. Draw one clue card and loose one turn’. ” Abe laughed and laughed – I just went back to sleep what is so funny about a TeePee.
Later, “Max, what do you think of this one? ‘Ask the person on you left what is Grayquill’s second favorite seat. If they say the toilet, they get to draw a donut card. If they say anything other than the toilet you get to draw a card’. Again the laughter rolled out like my long tongue licking Abe’s face especially after he eats ice cream. I didn’t even get to sleep before he piped in with this less than brilliant bit. “Hey Max listen up, ‘Dick Chenney starts a new career with Warner Bros. Studios! Dick Cheney will now be playing the part of Elmer Fudd in all the Bugs Bunny cartoons. According to Warner, ‘Dick is the kind of guy who isn’t afraid to pull the trigger, on anybody.’ Draw one clue card.” I guess even I need to admit that was kinda funny - I'm sure glad Mr. Cheney is not my master, I might not have survived to write this.
You are probably getting the idea Abe made a game for Grayquill called, The Legend of Grayquill. I am only a dog and I don’t play board games and much of what Abe told me I didn’t understand.
I heard Grayquill thought it was really cool. Well I only told you all that because I wanted you to know my master Abe is a really cool friend – even though I don’t think Grayquill deserves such a friend. I think what he did for Grayquill probably was a great thing. Humans for the most part are a bit complex so I just take them as they come. I guess having your own personal game is about like me having a big t-bone steak all to myself.
If any of Grayquill’s blogger friends want to play The Legend of Grayquill – you will have to visit him.
Oh…BTW – Grayquill says it will be a cold day in very hot place before I get to come play on his blog again. So I guess this is good bye. I think he is jealous that you all like me so much. He really needs to get a life and get over it. One would think with 7 billion humans on the earth Grayquill could get at least a couple of friends. Trolley lah…I am off. Abe and I will be heading to do some testing in the mountains.

19 comments:

Debra said...

Bye bye Max Aswell...we'll miss you! Take care!

Choco said...

@Max Aswell
You should have chewed up "The Legend of Grayquill".
Or even better chewed up parts of it so that it would read "The end of Grayquill". Wouldn't that have been cool? Just imagine the look on Grayquill's face when he would have seen that!
And Abe wouldn't mind because trust this coming from someone who once had a pet. Forgiveness is plentiful when it concerns one's kids and pets!

And this is Grayquill's blog. There is no such thing as bad blog etiquette here.

Will miss you Max Aswell. Kisses.
Choco

Arkansas Patti said...

Don't go away, Mighty loves your entries. He prefers the "buff" also. Clothes and bling are for people only. When will they understand?
Your Abe was one clever person and how special the "Fun Spoiler" must feel to have his own board game.
Cool picture with a text message.

blunt edges said...

do pets really have such a simple thought process??? Must think a lil the next time i start talking 2 one!

ps: ‘Dick is the kind of guy who isn’t afraid to pull the trigger, on anybody.’ lol...that was really funny :D:D:D

Bill S. said...

I loved it. I am not a dog person (my neighbors have enough that use my lawn for their toilet), but I enjoy good writing.
Thanks.

Grayquill said...

Debra: I will miss you too..snif, snif – Oh! What’s that smell? Be right back…I think Abe’s cooking up some bacon, you know what that means don’t you? SNACKS!

Choco: I can tell we are kindred spirits – you have given me so many wonderful ideas, I will always be in your debt. If you ever come to Seattle maybe we can go to the dog park – did I tell you I have a new baby brother? It’s been a secret only me an Abe know about it - well, and now you. We don’t want Grayquill to know he will want to come over and he will give little brother all the attention and totally ignore me. It was really fun when we went to pick him up I got to see my mum. She is so pretty.
You are right about masters forgiving anything. When I was a puppy I tore all the linoleum off the kitchen floor one day. I had to stay in my dog carrier for about a week when Abe was gone but you are right, he couldn’t stand leaving me in there. He forgave me. Now I try to find my chewy toys when I am alone. But I will not be alone anymore with little brother. I have never been a big brother before do you think it will be hard? I think it is a lot of responsibility.
I will miss you.

Arkansas Patti: I don’t want to go away, but Grayquill has all the power. He’s really mean. If I come to Arkansas do you think Mighty and me could play and run around in Arkansas land? You sound really nice. I have never been to Arkansas but I hear it can be a hunting dog’s paradise – although I am just a city dog – except when I am in the mountains then I am Rin-Tin-Tin. I hear the ticks are bad in Arkansas – I don’t think I would like having a tick. We don’t really have ticks in Washington, only fleas.
You should have seen Grayquill’s laugh and smile as he discovered all the fun things in his board game. Even I liked hearing Grayquill’s delight.

Blunt Edges: What do you mean simple thought process? Was that a back handed insult? If we are simple at least we aren’t running around talking behind others backs – wait a minute, hmmm…come to think about it maybe I may be guilty of that one.
Poor Dick…he will never live that one down.

Grayquill said...

Bill S: Thank you. Sounds like it is time to pull out the old BB gun and sting a butt or two. So you are a Fishing Guide? Hmmm...we might have to talk.

Michele said...

Oh, Mr. Max, please don't go! You remind me so much of my angel Sparky! You and he would have loved giving that mean ol' Grayquill a hard time! Just think, now with your little brother about you can come up with all kinds of tricks to play on Grayquill. You are one lucky puppy to have such a wonderful owner, and Grayquill is lucky to have such a thoughtful friend! You two must have something in common to have Abe's love!
Please apease Grayquill, just so you can come back and write us another story!
~Michele
@Grayquill - Etsy is starting off well, thank you for asking!
I don't have many cousins, so I really wouldn't mind adding one! Especially one so funny and kind!

The Survivor said...

I think Abe did great thing by created a game for grayquill

Max, hope to see you back again :)

Liked your take on Dick Cheney

Hilary said...

That's a thoughtful and complicated gift - to create a game for someone. Your Abe is a good friend to that Greyquill guy. And he's good with the wordplay.. TeePee indeed. Urine in good hands there, Max. ;)

Dianne said...

oh Max, I will tell Grayquill I want to hear more from you
you are wise beyond your years

Abe sounds like a great friend - to you and to Grayquill, you're lucky to have him

Grayquill said...

The Survivor: Thanks – do you ever feel sorry for old Mr. Cheney? I kinda do, it hasta be bit hard knowing you shot your friend and the whole world knows about it.

Hilary: That’s a good one Hilary, ‘Urine in good hands’. I see you have the word play gift also.

Dianne: Gee, thanks Dianne. I’m a little embarrassed; no one has ever told me that before. I will remember it forever. I am really lucky to have Abe for my master and Grayquill…well he knows. I hear them talk sometimes. They are as best a friends as can be.

Anita :) said...

That was cute. Did you like 'The legend of Grayquill' ,Max Aswell? I'm sure Grayquill must have loved it. We will surely miss you... you narrated the series of incidents very well! Have a great time on the mountains with Abe..! Bubye..!

Grayquill said...

Anita: No not really I am not into board games, my paws are just to big to move the pieces and such. But I loved hearing how Grayquill loved it. Yesterday, Grayquill's daughter came by his house and she laughed and laughed as she read all the clue cards - of course she has knowm Abe all her life and he is like a happy fun uncle to her. Anything Abe does she enjoys. You should hear her laugh it is sheer delight.

Grayquill said...

Michele: Hi Counsin, oops...how did I skip commenting on your great comment. DO'H!
Sparky? I just heard a joke about a dog called Sparky - even though an eight year old told it - it is R rated so we won't be repeating it here. But was really funny. Now you are dying to know what it is aren't you? You will just have to suffer.
Good job with Etsy! Keep at it.

Holly Kay said...

These entries were really original, Max;) Fun reading them!

Grayquill said...

Holly Kay: I have heard about you from Grayquill. He say you are the whole reason he blogs. Well all I can say to that is, Thank you! This blogging keeps him out of my hair.
Thank you for your nice words. I am turning red.

Anita :) said...

Is it Max Aswell? Grayquill's daughter likes ur master? Wow..! Now thats what I call friendship..! Grayquill must be so lucky to have a friend like ur master..! Do u agree with me Max? So when you see Grayquill's daughter you wag ur tail real hard dont u? Dont hurt her okay?

Grayquill said...

Anita:Yes of course I agree. Grayquill is lucky.
I have been known to send small children flying with my tail. I do try to be careful when little ones are near by but I enjoy giving Grayquill bruises. Hee hee hee...