Sitting with a blank screen in front of me I looked up to this scene, sunlight glistening reflecting a spectrum of color, a faint wisp of a breeze came by greeting my face, birds here and there are belting out their cords. It is a peaceful morning.
“I found your new home, you need to come right now! “ Those were the words of my brother and realtor almost 20 years ago. Jumping into my car I was off in a flash but with dubious expectations. Houses were selling faster than hotcakes at a fireman’s fundraiser. When a good one came up you had to be ready to act or it was gone.
A few months earlier tragedy had struck my family. My wife and I decided a change in scenery was part of what was needed. We had been looking for a new home for a good two months. I knew instantly this was a great deal and would serve the purpose.
When tragedy came I railed at God with blame, irrational thoughts and words I am glad He forgives. At the time I was plodding through the days in anger, just doing what I could, hoping it was the right thing. Who knows how to wade through deep loss and grief? Who knows how to bandage up deep emotional wounds? What husband and father understands what is the right way to take his family? I for sure did not. Hurt this deep and this horrific was beyond any man’s understanding to fix, but my wife and I knew doing nothing would not serve us well. I can still remember thinking, ‘getting a new house might help’. She seemed to know more instinctual the right way to go. During those beginning months I followed her lead more than I really want to admit. A man likes to think he is the strong one and the leader but it was her.
Now looking back I can see the many ways God was caring and orchestrating circumstances that went beyond mere coincidences. Each one alone was easily explained away as a lucky moment but the composite made God’s love and work shine through like the morning sun. This home was one of his brush strokes in His masterpiece of healing. What makes it unique is the beautiful spot it sits. Friends and family marvel at the peacefulness; the beauty strikes their eyes shocking their senses. I did not see the beauty of the place when we bought it. My slogging from day to day had eliminated color, the best way I can describe it, the world was a drab gray.
I believe now, what a man may not be conscious of, his subconscious takes in. God used the beauty of his creation over and over to shout at me, “I am good.” My conscious mind would hear none of it but my subconscious was soaking it in.
I can still remember the day I saw color again. It struck me in a quiet way while I was driving down the road. It was a moment much like this morning when the shades of green reflected off leaves, branches, and bark from the morning sun. It had been so long since I had seen color I was struck by that moment. All through the day and into the next I kept recalling the beauty - I was healing.
Do you have deep hurt or deep loss you are carrying? May I suggest? Find the beauty of God’s creation and let him shout out to you, “I am still good.” His ways are higher than man’s ways he cares for you beyond what we can think or imagine and underneath are his everlasting arms.
Jesus says in the scripture, “Come unto me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” ~Matthew 11:28-29 NIV