Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Faithful and Consistent

You will find me sitting faithful and consistent off to one side of the family room, there I do nothing but rock and observe. It is quite a perspective of Grayquill’s household. Nothing really gets by me and it is amazing what humans do when they think no one is watching. The places they scratch, the noises they make, the disgusting drool I have seen slipping out of the side of Grayquill’s mouth onto those couch pillows would make your toes curl. I can tell you one thing I am glad those nasty pillows stay on the couch. If you ever come to visit I suggest you sit on me and stay away from those pillows.
Grayquill and the cat have been quite civil to each other today, a refreshing change. Grayquill’s wife just walked through her feet vibrating an unmistakably harsher pace than normal. I notice Grayquill’s back muscles tightening and his rocking increased. I wonder what he did now; he and I will probably be getting plenty of quality time together tonight. Ugh…, don’t worry I am strong enough to hold him up; it just gets a little tiring as he keeps gaining weight. If he would just humble himself and apologize he could sleep in a nice soft bed but I know him he will hang onto his pride and suffer. I hate to call him this but he’s kind of a dough head sometimes.
The privileged position I hold in the Grayquill household allows me to get to know each person quite intimately. Let me tell you a secret – girls pass gas just as often as boys do. That visiting thing, now that I think about it, you might want to sit somewhere else.
Do not underestimate my value to the Grayquill house, I hold an important place. I cannot tell you the number of hours I have spent holding and rocking a sad person; they seek out my softness for comfort. I am getting old now but I have mastered the ability to calm and comfort one who is sick with the flu or just in a funk. It is really easy now that I have grown squashy and worn to wrap my soft arms close and be a firm steady help. All the household members have at one time or another allowed a searing tear to drop from check to arm while I provide comfort. Not only do I comfort; I usually am the focal point of important family discussions, you see Grayquill sits on me during those times. Family meetings happen when Grayquill gets cranky. Mostly he does the majority of the talking and his kids, well when his kids lived here, they would watch a bug crawl across the ceiling or count the bricks on the fireplace until Grayquill had vented it all out. I could tell Grayquill felt better after those meetings. I am no doctor but it seemed to me his blood pressure would drop at least 20 points. I think most of the time Grayquill’s kids were silent during those meetings because they knew Grayquill just needed to let it all out. Those kids are a bit smarter than Grayquill and they worked him pretty good. Grayquill was never the wiser about those kid’s workings.
The number of movies I have seen has been a bunch. Grayquill is so funny; in fact his kids call him quirky, a perfect description. Did you know he watched “The Kid” at least 8 times and frankly I lost count to, “Remember the Titans.” He watches those Southern Gospel videos over and over. I’ll tell you a secret but don’t tell Grayquill, I sometimes watch his music videos along with Hobbes (that’s his cat, only he just calls him Cat) when Grayquill is not home. I kinda like that Southern Gospel sound especially those real low base singers.
You should stop by sometime, Grayquill’s wife is real great cook. Now Grayquill on the other hand is horrible. The stuff he eats….well all I can say is I sure wish he wouldn’t sit on me when he eats those nasty creations, the fallout is finishing me off.


Debra said...

We have one of those, only ours sits right in the middle of our den. It is ugly brown and huge. I call it "the monstrosity"! But, it is part of the family...for better or worse!

Bill S. said...

Oh the blessings of house pets. We no longer have them!!!! I like mine outside - except on cold nights in the winter of course.

Arkansas Patti said...

Very funny post. Those comfortable chairs have seen it all haven't they? I would never let mine near a computer, You are a brave man.
HOWEVER, it is a medical fact that men have more gas than women and they are darn proud of that fact. Just pull their finger to find out.

Sylvia K said...

This started my day with a giggle! I have one of those chairs in my room, but believe me, like APatti, I wouldn't let it near my computer either! And as another of your readers commented, it might be well to blindfold mine, too! Funny post, just what I needed to start the day!


Anita Jeyan said...

hehehe....wondering what a pet would write about me if it could write.. literate like Grayquill's cat!OMG..

Anonymous said...

Ugh! An old couch, Grayquills couch...Ranting...I hope we do not get to hear from his toilet seat next....

Tall Guy said...

The pets seems to be reading your blog to tumble out the secrets of grayquill

I thought I was the only one who watched "Remember The Titans" countless times!

Blunt Edges said...

does the couch have a name??? ;)

n grayquill sure is very popular among his furniture! :P

Grayquill said...

Debra: I like that for better or for worse

Bill: I am jealous - I am waiting for that blissful petless day.

Grayquill said...

Arkansas Patti: The pulling of the finger is strong evidence. But! That does not void out the equality issue in this posting. One lady I know describes her times as crop dusting. I think that is what most ladies do. If you do not understand what I am referring to – just ask another lady. Men of course do still prefer the pull my finger release.
Now look what you started.

Sylvia K: A giggle? That is perfect almost as good as a cup of coffee. Thanks!

Anita: Scary question.

Choco: I don’t know what to say to that – You have stumped me completely, baffled me, left befuddled.

The Survivor: We have good taste in Movies I see. You bring the popcorn and we will have movie night.

Blunt Edges: Ha Ha…Now you are being totally ridiculous – everyone knows I don’t name my furniture :)) Heck, I even resent my cat thinking it has a name.

As the Mind Meanders said...


This post is awesome... I havent laughed this much for some time now... thank you...

Interesting thought though.. if all inanimate objects around us could communicate... we would always have our feet firmly grounded.. wouldn't we???

PS: Go for the toilet seat next... lets give Choco what she wants.. not..

Anonymous said...

This post is really interesting... I appreciate the natural way of your writing... You are so free and that's what make you bold. Thanks for this lovely post. I'm smiling right now... So I also want to thank you for making me smile.. :)
Have a great day!

Grayquill said...

Mr. Mind Meanders: Thank you! That coming from you, I take as high praise. The inanimate object thing… if they could communicate it would sure make us more accountable, right? – I guess that would certainly help keeping us grounded.
Toilet seat – not happening.

M Riyadh Sharif: Thank you!! What a nice compliment – I very much appreciate it!
Your last post was great.