Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A father’s day…

It is great to be honored by ones children.
Sunday was father’s day my two daughters were out of town but my son came by to see me. The conversation we had wound around through many subjects and past a few monuments. Along the trail we came to the monument of his minor fathers, the men who impacted him in his childhood. How grateful I am for these wonderful men.
The many hours he spent at different friend’s houses resulted in many hours of observing or at times direct interactions with these men. Some were good bad examples but most were good good examples. They filled in many holes and blank spots I either was incapable of teaching or just missed. Some examples were reinforcements of lessons I hoped to impart - faithfulness, loyalty, respect of women, trustworthiness, honesty, hard work, and compassion.
He talked about recently attending the celebration of one man’s 35th wedding anniversary and of the toast he gave to the man and his wife for being a good example of a good marriage. My son told me of times he notice J and L would disappear on a walk and he would see them returning back down the road holding hands, smiling and talking.
I can think back to a time a father told me about working alongside his son and my son doing yard work for many hours and the compliment he gave my son for being a good worker. But, I knew the real gift had been the two young boys doing hard work alongside the man and that day was a step or two closer toward their own manhood. You see I already knew about the many hours of work because I saw the glow on my son’s young face beaming with pride as he earlier had recounted the affirming words he had been given by the father for his hard work.
Another father was a very good business man and understood investments. Another man treated his wife badly and my son saw the pain and the shame. Another man was a hard worker but could also play. Most of the men were good examples of living strong moral lives and being men of high character. I am thankful that my son had other men who input into him what real manhood looked like.
He has these images and impressions of what manhood looks like and now I am so proud of the man he is becoming - a man of high character.
So, to the minor fathers of my son – thank you! You probably do not know you we being watched.


Anonymous said...
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Grayquill said...

Choco: Well, that is a very nice comment - Thank you! You always encourage - I is appreciated.

SuperTramp said...

Every boy has many father figures throughout their life whether they are positive or negative influences. So why do some grow up and screw up? While others are successful and strong in character?

I think it is the real father's rule to set a sound example. For example, my father is extremely humble (well, atleast on the outside) and growing up it was very clear that it was important to learn from everyone. He always stressed how he was always trying to be a better person. Never thinking that he new it all. He would always tell me, "Oh yeah I forgot, you're 16, you know everything." As sarcastic as this was, it stuck. And because of this example I feel that I have grown because of the other father figures in my life, not the other way around.

I think this is a great post because it is so important for a father to realize that he is not perfect. At times your son will hate you, literally. And those for me seemed to be the most important times to put into action my father's lesson.

Grayquill said...

SuperTramp: Thank you! No father could be prouder of his son. Give yourself credit for being an observant learner. You bless me more than you might guess.
BTW- That sarcasam was one of those times I was a good bad example. Sorry - Not.