Saturday, June 20, 2009

Elite 2 Percenters

I always wanted to be a 2 percenter and today I made it into that rare elite group – Yahoo!
Well, actually I guess it was last Friday morning at 4:00 am – I am not sure what time zone. I turned my TV on just to check – yip – snow storms on every channel. I heard on the radio that 2% of the TV viewers had not done a thing to receive the new and improved digital signal. Well I am proud to be one of them.
I thought about that a little last night and realized I no longer have three televisions. I guess now I have one DVD/VHS display viewer, one DVD/Xbox viewing game machine, and one smaller room ornament.
I am pretty sure this whole digital – analog change is really just a communist plot and I am not getting sucked into it. Many of you are saying, hey, all that communist plot stuff went out in the Reagan years. See…that’s just what they want you to think! Then when you are least expecting it, they take away your analog TV signal. I guess that pretty much proves my point. Now don’t you feel foolish?
Have you heard about the latest communist plot? They want to give us vouchers to use as a down payment on a new car. Then they say they will destroy your old gas guzzling, pollution spewing car under the guise to stop global warming, excuse me I mean climate change. (Gotta stay up on the newest and most current politically correct terms) Don’t believe it, it is a ruse. That won’t happen the minute you let them have your car they will take it to some secret place and begin analyzing everything about it. In less than a week they will know everything about you, how often you sneeze, what deodorant you use, your fast food habits…I mean everything. It is so disappointing, I was so hoping Obama was not a communist.
You say they don’t have technology for such stuff? Well I am here to tell you I watch CSI Miami the other night and they can figure out everything, I mean everything.
It would not surprise me if they are even reading my blog right this minute - Damn communist!
Well I gotta go, heading out to buy a copy of Catcher in the Rye.
BOO! DOH!

4 comments:

Choco said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Grayquill said...

Choco, all the doctors say it’s multiple personality disorder. Maybe one of my personalities is schizo -hmmm...
But MPD or Schizo either way if you are reading my blog and you are from a communist country does that make my prediction right, the Damn communists are reading my blog? Yikees! Back to the bomb shelter I go.

Holly Kay said...

Hi fellow conspiracy theorist, how 'bout all the secrets about UFOs? They're all true. haahhaha.

Grayquill said...

Holly - I know it all creeps me out, all those people with all those secrets. You know it's a nightmare out there and a proven fact that they are talking with those aliens about who knows what, form who knows where...it gets so confusing with all the - those, theys, and thems I never know who’s who. But they are out there. So, for the most part I have found the safest thing to do is stay in my house with my aluminum foil hat on my head. They are not accessing my brain waves if I can help it.