Monday, June 29, 2009

Uncle Thoughtful - Jujitsu Warrior

A year has passed; maybe now the fallout from such a post will be minimal.
I could see the red glow in the darkness 2:14 am - - - pounding - - - pounding… what was that noise? It was coming from downstairs, the fog had lifted and I was now fully awake. It was coming from the kitchen. Maybe it will stop I thought. What could possibly be going on? Why are they not in bed? A loud low voice, then a loud laugh. Who was that in my house at 2:14 laughing, pounding, and talking so loud? Was it my son in law up making such a racket? My oldest daughter and son in law were here for my youngest daughter’s wedding. This was so unlike him. Was he drunk? After what seemed like 20 minutes but was probably 2 minutes. I had had enough, I had to work tomorrow. Just because no one else in the house had to get up early, does that mean everyone gets to act like it is holiday? - And, that pounding, what the heck?
Fumbling into my jeans which were magically changing into full battle fatigues, I move toward the kitchen, the warrior emerging. Everyone was lucky I never took Jujitsu. Turning the corner there he stood next to my niece, a rolling pin in his hand and a pile of crushed walnuts in front of him. Everyone got real quite. All eyes turned toward me.
I have been told when a person is angry his IQ goes down several points and that is a real problem for me. You see my IQ is not that high in the first place and for me to lose even on point is significant. To lose several points, well that lines up to a real crisis, with that explanation maybe you will understand how I cannot really remember everything I said. I do know it wasn’t pretty and I didn’t hang the experience up in the hall of grand family trophy moments.
Even though my niece was obviously part of the mayhem, I find it interesting where I focused my wrath. I will not deny I have different expectations of young men then I do of young ladies and the expectations are higher for the male. Of course his loud deep voice that contributed to my waking might have been a contributing factor. All that said the young man got the brunt of my anger and a piece of my mind of which I really couldn’t afford to lose. Let’s look at the situation for a minute. First off the young man was a guest – should not a guest have a layer, a barrier, a sense that would say …I better behave because the man of the house may be a crazy man and know Jujitsu and take this rolling pin away from me and beat me to a bloody pulp.
I need to be fair to the young man now that some time has passed. You see the woman of the house, my wife, was also up at 2:14 am! And being the great delegator she is, saw a strong young man and figured to take advantage of him. I guess his big frame seemed like an excellent nut smasher. Now normally she would not delegate such a task at such an ungodly hour. But this was I guess an exception. We were having a wedding in just few days and the nuts were an important cooking ingredient for some delicacy.
The young man did get an apology the next day, the niece wanted to know why my entire wrath was focused on him and none at her – which, I really didn’t have much of an answer. The wife punished me in the way wives punish, and I tried being nicer. But at least I got to sleep soundly the next two nights. The daughter got married and she let me walk her down the aisle. Where the nuts ended up I have no idea. DO'H!


Anonymous said...
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Grayquill said...

Well I cannot relate to your comment because if I am not mistaken, Father of the Bride would be a girly movie and I of course do not go to girly movies. As to being grumpy and grouchy – that of course would be a yeahno. Yes, I am grumpy and grouchy at 2:15 am but in the morning when I first wake up – I am quite cheerful – my kids would say cheerful to a fault. But then right before dinner I am again quite grumpy.
Glad your back - that was the shortest week ever.

silverine said...

ha ha I can imagine their look when you walked in on them! :)) In India a marriage house never sleeps!

Grayquill said...

I went to an Indian wedding once. It was certanly not what I expected.I think it was day three when I came. Not knowing the culture I really had no idea what was going on. After watching for a couple of hours my wife and I left; still today I have no idea if I saw them actually get married.