Saturday, June 27, 2009

Molestation an Unanswered Evil

Being able to mesmerize thousands, being able to sell the most music videos ever, being the most talented singer, being able to moon walk, having millions - excuse me billions of dollars does not give one privilege to hurt children.
Maybe I am wrong and 23 million does wipe away the pain, scars, emotional troubles of a small boy and give permission. Society seemed to be saying it wasn’t okay but then a death happened and the monster changes into a god.
Many have said to me over the years – you overreact because of your own experience. My response is always the same, “No, my reaction is not an overreaction, yours is an under-reaction. Have you ever thought that maybe your lack of education or knowledge is keeping you from having a normal reaction to this kind of evil?”
A famous quote says, “For the lack of knowledge the people perish.” Children are perishing and it is partly because of a lack of knowledge.
Very few societies deal with child rape and molestation in a manner that does not have a heavy fog of denial wrapped around it. Thus, allowing its evil work to scar and damage children from one generation to the next, and on and on it goes.
Part of the problem is that the risk to judge, question, and to say this behavior is wrong - is just too high. After all someone might challenge you and say you are crazy for saying something so horrible about such a nice, well dressed, rich person. Think about it, when a man in his 40’s has sleep overs with 11 year old boys and a society can come up with a reason that that is okay, the people in that society have gone terribly awry. There is not a rational argument that can be made that that is healthy or right. Quite the contrary it is unequivocally wrong. That behavior should be judged by us as a society and you should have the courage to do it.
Something to think about. Somethng else to read: http://www.grayquillmusings.com/2009/03/tragedy.html

If you are a victim - I am so sorry! Below are some links you might find helpful:
http://www.rainn.org/
http://centers.rainn.org/
http://www.cvsolutions.org/
http://rapecrisis.com/
No apology for the heavy subject - all comments welcome.

19 comments:

silverine said...

Thank god there is someone who thinks like me. Phew!

Grayquill said...

Silverline - thank you, maybe it's just me and you. I think the key word in your comment is "thinks" - Your comment is appreciated.

Choco said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Grayquill said...

Choco - Thanks for your comment - Yes, we all have to stand before the Almighty to give an account.
Here is a link that gives me much comfort and hope plus it is a reat taste of good old Southern Gospel Music - I am smiling just to think a young woman in the other side of the globe might be listenig to this. Ha, Ha... enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nK6PDqwhsQ&feature=related
BTW the two old guy are both dead and they ended well - my I do as well.

Choco said...

That took me back to my school days! Thanks for the link :)

& noticed that we have driven you back to comment moderation again!
You know you do not need both captcha and comment moderation together. That is just a pain to the commentator! :P

Choco said...

All right...No moderation yet again...I give up!

Kokonad said...

Hi GrayQuill... this is my first comment here, and thank you for commenting on my blog! :)
I loved reading the post, and the comments too! (Hi Choco, nice to see you here! :) )
Your point of view is correct! If the molestation did happen, then I will be definitely appalled.
But, there is a (huge) part of me that does not want to believe that... probably because I grew up listening to music - I was introduced to western music with his songs... and that, I feel, is the emotion with most of the world. It could be denial... but as Choco has aptly put it, "But will I be taking such a stand for any other unknown person? I know I wouldn't."
Once again, really nice post, GrayQuill, and I am now a regular reader of your blog! :)

Grayquill said...

Hi Choco...the moderation thing. I think it is set for moderation on any post that is over 3 days old - mainly so if some one comments on an older post I am sure to not miss it.
You actually listened to that link - WOW! Okay admit it, that is great music:)

Hi Kokonad - Thank you for the nice words. You and Choco both seem to have a good ability for self honesty. I feel honored anytime someone reads my posts - Thank you and Welcome!

As the Mind Meanders said...

This is an interesting debate... maybe even worth a full fledged post... I wonder (and I dont know if I can express it effectively) if it is at all possible to seperate the man from his music... His music may have healed many and as a person he may have harmed many.

I dont know the answer to this one but is it right to allow our judgement on his "imperfections as a human being" to take away from his talent...

All those blog posts that pay respect to the man... are they mourning the death of a flawed personality... or are they mourning the death of a performer...

Choco said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michele said...

I do agree with you, though you may not think so by my comment on Choco's blog. His life was tragic and amazing, but this is not an excuse for him. I just don't know the truth and find solace in the fact that he is now somewhere where he must stand before the "Almighty," and I do believe that HE will "deal" with MJ appropriately. Does that make sense??
Anyway, I am glad to have found your blog!
~Michele from By Your Side

Grayquill said...

Mr. Mind Meander – What are five things you believe to be 100% right and what are five things you believe to be 100% wrong. I am very interested in your answer. Maybe you could email me your answers or not.
As to your question about man or music – playing music, building a house, digging a ditch, catching a fish, typing a blog are all superfluous acts not moral or immoral. Actions of right or wrong measure a person’s character – character is more important than ability or intelligence. If a man was remodeling your home and while he was there he stole from you would you fire him?

Choco – 1st off thank you for not trashing me – you know that fragile male ego thing? I like hearing what you think, what you believe, what excites you, what depresses you, etc. I am very encouraged, even though you live in a different culture I agree with most of what you say.
You have a playful voice that comes out in your writing and you are very direct, both traits remind me of my two daughters. So, of course your comments and posts are a delight.

Michelle, thanks for stopping by. I agree with you, God to be the perfect judge who knows it all. But here is the problem – at least here in America. We don’t live in the sweet by and by we live in the nasty here and now. A person like MJ will show multiple signs of being an unsafe person. The more important, famous, respected, or rich he is, the fewer people there are who are willing to make a judgment that he should not be allowed access to children. So, here in our country we have an epidemic of children being hurt. One out of every three girls will be sexually abused by the time she turns 18 and one out of every five boys will be abused. I bet it is similar to where you live. People give too much power to people just because they have influence or money and they should not be honored when they have shown such a overwhelming pattern.

As the Mind Meanders said...

Grayquill – 100% right or 100% wrong. That is difficult to answer. I don’t think anything is… Its perceptive… Unfortunately, even terrorists think that they are soldiers. And people in some countries think our soldiers are the bad guys… Opinions change as information changes…

To form a concrete unwavering opinion about Michaels Character – Unfortunately, I have very little and imperfect information and most of it was media fed and gathered during media trials… How much do I believe – I don’t know…

Talent makes artists – publicity machines make celebrities… media puts them on a pedestal… media then is equally quick to cremates them at the first given opportunity – Truth be damned. In our world unfortunately, for every child molester we also have probably multiple gold diggers… Was Michaels a victim of his celebrity status or was he a paedophile – the truth just went to the grave with him. We will have to be content living with our opinions formed with imperfect information. And that is the only reason – I choose sit on the fence... I am vary but yet hesitant to condemn his soul to damnation. I hesitate to speak about his character with any sort of authority. I don’t know enough.

I can speak about his music though – I NEVER liked it. Nevertheless, I know millions did. I know that his music touched a million hearts. I know that his music helped at least one person through some very difficult times… You can read about it here… one of my favourite bloggers… Agent Green Glass… http://agentgreenglass.blogspot.com/2009/06/way-you-made-me-feel.html

How we judge Michael and what we choose to believe will forever be dictated by our personal opinions and thought processes… The only objective of my post was to try and ask that we treat his music and talent with the respect that it deserves… What Michael made of his life was the result of the personal choices he made over years… his free will… his talent was not his choice… for those that believe in God… it was a special gift…

To end this post on your comment space {apologies for the length :-)} … Would I trust my children with Michael…alone… No…. Would I allow my children to listen to his music… I think I would…

Anita :) said...

Very rarely do I comment on blogs, but the urge to comment on yours was too tempting to resist. The topic you have chosen is vast enough for a week long debate, but I am definitely not here for a debate. I sincerely appreciate your sense of freedom to voice out what you think, in your own blog. I’m just a visitor, who just wants to make a little point clear.
We have regional, national and international celebrities, and an exponential number of scandals associated with them.
Personal lives of celebrities is food for the media, and we have proof enough of that from the fairy tale like life of Princess Diana. I am not saying that child molestation is something which may be overlooked. The point is, MJ was charged on the case, but there was no proof enough for it. Another important point to be noted here is that, we all have grown up listening to and foot tapping to MJ’s music and the waves of change he brought across to this part of the world. He was legendary dancer cum singer and noone can ever deny that. His work on black/ white discrimination was also notable. Now accepting a celebrity , is accepting his talent. We don’t have to accept him from his virtues, behavioural traits, or how good he was as a human being. Yeah we can look into all that stuff when we choose friends for ourselves.
Also, you mentioned that MJ suddenly became God after death. Please run through the newspapers which reported the incident. All headlines, atleast sub headlines carry the word, ‘ died after a decade long scandal’. So the whole world knows isn’t it?
By the way, u also said that being able to mesmerize thousands does not give privilege to hurt children…. I will rather put it this way.. scandalizing MJ to whatever extent possible does not move him away from his position of 'King of Pop'. We'd rather learn more to appreciate talent than judge celebrities by their behavioural traits.
Ending on a positive note, I like your blog and the way you presented your hang of what you thought about him... Thanks..!

Grayquill said...

Mr. Mind Meander,
Your last sentence made my day - Thank you! So I take it you are 100% sure on that point.

Anita, thank you for stopping by and adding to the discussion. You write very well and present your point of view very clearly.
Just one point of contention with your comment - Well actually I probably have several but I will talk only about one that bugs me the most. The comment you made about, being charged and no evidence. A prosecuting Attorney once told me he would not take a case to trial unless he was 98% sure he would win. Follow the law even a little and you will see there is so much evidence that is not allowed to be presented to the jury. I guarantee there was a ton of evidence against MJ. He is guilty through and through – no doubt about it – people denying it will not change the truth or make him innocent.

Choco said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Grayquill said...

Forgive? hmmm...what would that look like? He did not know what he did? That's a new one...how do you figure that?

PHOTOGENIC DEVIL said...

umm
i dont know wat to say bout this ....
if u did watch page 3 -- then i keep remembering how the entire incident was shushed in the movie ... but maybe american media is much stronger

sumwhere i do feel --- that asking a child to describe the private parts of his molestor is nothign short of molestation --- it must have been tortorous -- but he stepped forward so that micheal did not do that to others...
i want to believe that jackson was innocent -- and yes now that he is gone - i too wanna shush the entire incident
his genius makes me forget for a moment how tortured that kid must have been

still -- if he was involved , he deserves to be persecuted.......

great post
really nice reading ur blog

Grayquill said...

Photogenic...your statement about not wanting to believe is at the crux of what disheartens me about this.
When it comes to children it seems society - no people - many people believe what is convient for them. Many talk about caring about children but if it costs them something to care than they choose to believe the perpetrator. It is not just this case and I am so weary of it.
I agree with the describing..this is all such a nasty business - how can it be done right?
Thank you for commenting and I hope you come back and read some of my less heavy pieces.
Regards.