Conundrum…

My very old dog, Goldie – half blind, half deaf – no I think ¾ deaf. Has a routine where she slowly walks a trail around the house, down the hill, across the street, up behind my neighbor’s house, back across the street, smells this, smells that, then proceeds up the hill, through the trees and back to my back yard. He is very exact in her meanderings as he has worn quite a deep trail. Every now and then I will place the lawn mower or the wheelbarrow across her ingrained path just to mess with him.
A fly tonight has been flying inches past my nose several times. Do you think my head is kind of like that wheelbarrow? It is beginning to irritate me. Every time I go to take swat at it, it’s five feet away. Fast little bugger or really slow – me.
You might have noticed I have a gender issue with my dog. I am not sure what to call the roaming meanderer. He used to be a she because he-she had puppies and then we had her fixed – no more puppies – that kind of fix. But, last week I saw her lift her leg like a male dog. Now I am so confused. When I call her I mostly just yell, ”here you”, or sometimes I might say, “hey you get over here”. I mean in today’s society with everything being so gender neutral I just don’t want to offend old grandpa or grandma dog whatever she is. But then I tapped my helmet and I said to myself, why am I worrying if I offender her/him she can’t hear anyway. D’OH!