Friday, May 8, 2009

Men are Better Drivers!

Who are better drivers men or women? Ask any man and he will give you clarity on the subject. You might want to ask me who is the better driver me or my wife? Well I am glad you asked, “It is me of course.”
My wife might disagree with my conclusions as she will often bring up my 17 accidents. She has been known to gloat when she reminds me of how I had two accidents in one night. Now before you jump to conclusions and take her side. All of those 17 accidents (actually 18 one she doesn't know about) have perfectly good explanations. Most have nothing to do with my driving ability but just, hmmm…how should I say it – slight mishaps. Here are a few of my insignificant mishaps. The light turned green I let my foot off the gas and took one last close up look at the pimple right on the tip of my nose. The guy in front of me decided to stop. What was he thinking? My forehead broke the mirror from the windshield and left a bloody indent about an inch above my right eyebrow. You see that was not my fault – what was that crazy stopping for?
Another time my three kids and I were going to their Grandmas in the snow. We were talking about how far it was. My odometer needed only 2/10 more on it to start at an even mile. Simple, spin the tires really fast and 2/10 of a mile could happen in maybe less than 100 yards by my calculations. Well, I never had a physics class and my calculations didn’t take into account the speed my car would be going when the turn 200 yards away was reached. We went in the ditch. The cop gave me a ticket for driving to fast under conditions – idiot. See that is totally not my fault. It was the guidance counselors fault for never making me take a physics class.
Then of course there was the time I was driving down the road minding my own business while holding and drinking a cup of coffee. An older gentleman pulled out from a side street and hit me in my rear quarter panel. Now I think this shows my superior driving skills. Get hit, spin in a complete circle, hit no other cars or pedestrians and to top it off not one drop of coffee was spilled – Yip, case closed.
I could go on and on reciting one accident after another but this is a blog and 18 accidents could take a bit of space, so we will call it good
for a night. But I am curious what has your experiences been?


Anonymous said...

Keep off the ice

Holly Kay said...

I can't believe it. A man who has had more accidents than my husband.

You just made my day!

Grayquill said...

Anonymous - No ice in the summer - all is safe.

Holly - I am glad. As Mr. Red says, if the women don't find you hansome let them find you useful - or something iike that.