Big news! I am serious! Weighty – Heavy – Really big news…I no longer weigh 100 lbs. more than I did when I got married. As of this morning I have lost 13 pounds.
Everyone celebrate, it’s a miracle!
To you cynics - that is a lot of water weight, approximately 1.6 gallons of water if you were curious. – Hah!
I realize this is a bit premature to be celebrating but sometimes that’s just what I do.
Family tranquility exercises have kept me away from my blog the last few days. No I am not in trouble with Mrs. Grayquill again. Now be nice, and listen up to all that I have done: Vacuumed twice, washed all the outside windows, mopped the hardwood, finished digging a stump out of the side yard, glued a table top together, re-upholstered six dining room chairs, mowed the front and back grass, blew off the drive way, did some outside burning, repaired a loose clothing rack in the guest bedroom, and tied some flies for my upcoming fishing trip. Why all the activity you ask? My wife and daughter had a wedding shower at the house this evening – need I say more –they are women.
You might think all this productivity caused my weight loss and I am sure it contributed, but nope, I actually ate less – I am sure there is some law of physics that applies here. Where’s a smart person when I need one? Sigh…
It all started a few weeks back when my wife was terribly sick with some odd stomach illness. Because I am such a compassionate guy, I must have had sympathy pains and began feeling a bit nauseous myself. This resulted in a lack of appetite, and some special golden moments in the throne room. Since then I have been holding back on the calorie intake and shazzam 13 pounds pooffed away – I will keep you posted on my progress.
As you can well imagine out of self preservation I lite a shuck before the stampede of females came swooping down upon the Grayquill household this afternoon,and headed out to watch my son-in-law play in a racketball tournament.
The consequences of a minimal calorie intake seemed to be taking a toll on my energy. The drive to the tournament was plagued with a bobbing head and lane weaving. Upon arriving safely a few minutes early and avoiding accident #19, the rare Seattle sun was warming the truck cab. Taking full advantage of the warmth, the time, and the place I took a short nap before heading into the club.
Upon entering the club a nice lady directed me to the courts but something seemed out of place – there was not a soul at the courts, hmmm….. After a little thinking time and a few questions, it was obvious I had listened poorly and ended up at the wrong club.
What to do? I couldn’t go home. A haunting feeling began crawling up my back. It was that, you are homeless feeling. Do you ever have unfounded fears? This one every now and then comes knocking at my door and scaring me. I guess it is good because it always reminds me of the growing need in our cities, and of course it motivates me to get up each morning and go to work.
I had a free movie pass in my pocket, so off I headed to the theater. This drive up the freeway was reasonably free of weaving and I arrived twenty minutes later at the theater. Nothing interested me. So I did the next best thing. I ate the snack my wife had made for my son in law.
From there I headed to the second hand store – bought a Dale Brown book and settled into my little truck in an effort to let the next two hours slip by. I got through the first page of the forward and woke up two hours later with a crick in my neck but at least now enough time had passed and I could head home – I am so glad I am not homeless.
Is there a lesson in this pathetic tale? Of course there is, why wouldn’t there be? If you are ever find yourself homeless and you are blessed to have a vehicle. Make it a big truck, little trucks are way uncomfortable.