Sunday, March 28, 2010

Really Big Weighty News

Big news! I am serious! Weighty – Heavy – Really big news…I no longer weigh 100 lbs. more than I did when I got married. As of this morning I have lost 13 pounds.
Everyone celebrate, it’s a miracle!
To you cynics - that is a lot of water weight, approximately 1.6 gallons of water if you were curious. – Hah!
I realize this is a bit premature to be celebrating but sometimes that’s just what I do.
Family tranquility exercises have kept me away from my blog the last few days. No I am not in trouble with Mrs. Grayquill again. Now be nice, and listen up to all that I have done: Vacuumed twice, washed all the outside windows, mopped the hardwood, finished digging a stump out of the side yard, glued a table top together, re-upholstered six dining room chairs, mowed the front and back grass, blew off the drive way, did some outside burning, repaired a loose clothing rack in the guest bedroom, and tied some flies for my upcoming fishing trip. Why all the activity you ask? My wife and daughter had a wedding shower at the house this evening – need I say more –they are women.
You might think all this productivity caused my weight loss and I am sure it contributed, but nope, I actually ate less – I am sure there is some law of physics that applies here. Where’s a smart person when I need one? Sigh…
It all started a few weeks back when my wife was terribly sick with some odd stomach illness. Because I am such a compassionate guy, I must have had sympathy pains and began feeling a bit nauseous myself. This resulted in a lack of appetite, and some special golden moments in the throne room. Since then I have been holding back on the calorie intake and shazzam 13 pounds pooffed away – I will keep you posted on my progress.
As you can well imagine out of self preservation I lite a shuck before the stampede of females came swooping down upon the Grayquill household this afternoon,and headed out to watch my son-in-law play in a racketball tournament.
The consequences of a minimal calorie intake seemed to be taking a toll on my energy. The drive to the tournament was plagued with a bobbing head and lane weaving. Upon arriving safely a few minutes early and avoiding accident #19, the rare Seattle sun was warming the truck cab. Taking full advantage of the warmth, the time, and the place I took a short nap before heading into the club.
Upon entering the club a nice lady directed me to the courts but something seemed out of place – there was not a soul at the courts, hmmm….. After a little thinking time and a few questions, it was obvious I had listened poorly and ended up at the wrong club.
What to do? I couldn’t go home. A haunting feeling began crawling up my back. It was that, you are homeless feeling. Do you ever have unfounded fears? This one every now and then comes knocking at my door and scaring me. I guess it is good because it always reminds me of the growing need in our cities, and of course it motivates me to get up each morning and go to work.
I had a free movie pass in my pocket, so off I headed to the theater. This drive up the freeway was reasonably free of weaving and I arrived twenty minutes later at the theater. Nothing interested me. So I did the next best thing. I ate the snack my wife had made for my son in law.
From there I headed to the second hand store – bought a Dale Brown book and settled into my little truck in an effort to let the next two hours slip by. I got through the first page of the forward and woke up two hours later with a crick in my neck but at least now enough time had passed and I could head home – I am so glad I am not homeless.
Is there a lesson in this pathetic tale? Of course there is, why wouldn’t there be? If you are ever find yourself homeless and you are blessed to have a vehicle. Make it a big truck, little trucks are way uncomfortable.

23 comments:

Pat said...

First of all, a big YIPEEE on your weight loss. I'd take it any way I could get it.
Another lesson to your story that has been over looked. If wives want their husbands to tend to some over looked (ignored) chores...have a party. I may just have to do that very thing.
Oh, by the way..my husband does have a big truck....just in case.

Hilary said...

Congrats on the weight loss. You just shamed me into putting the Doritos down. ;)

So are you sure you didn't just sleep through racquetball tournament?

Asif said...

It was real fun to read. As ever your writing style is too good. I wish most of the Indian husbands learn something from what you are doing as a good husband in doing all the chores and Thanks for sharing the link of your previous post. I just loved it.
Take care.

NIM said...

Congrats on the weight loss! You actually did all that work? sounded like a handful... And u bought a book to read and fell asleep?... The story of every student! :p

The Survivor said...

Congrats on the weight loss

Great going.

Amrita said...

Congratulations GQ

Arkansas Patti said...

Way to go on the weight loss. All that work, besides burning calories also kept you away from the snack tray. I see you fell for that old "we are hosting a party" trick to get the spring cleaning done by hubby.Kudos Mrs. GQ.

GLB said...

GQ, congrats on the lost pounds.

Unfortunately, while Mrs. GLB was out of town last week, several of those pounds made their weigh to VA and found their weigh to MY weighst.......
Nothing to do with my eating habits last week, I'm sure...........

Anita :) said...

Clap clap on weight loss... and u sure are a compassionate guy :-)
I too lost two kilos on account of lent season.. :)

Choco said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Choco said...

Aha! I now know that...
1) 13 is a lucky number for Grayquill.
2) Grayquill is terribly absent minded..
3) However he doesn't mind going to the movies by himself.
4) One should not trust Grayquill with food meant to feed other people.
5) The secret to overcoming one's fears is to make plans as to how to go about stuff, if the fears were to actually ever come true...
6) Hence I should go out and buy me some more "Hit" (Roach killing spray).

Now the insomniac in me wants to run out and buy a Dale Brown book.
Adieus :)

PS: Now why is everyone congratulating Grayquill??? :|

blunt edges said...

sorry i wasn't around when u needed a smart guy...was kinda caught up with work! :D

AngelMc said...

congrats on the weight loss...and i'm smiling because you fell for the old company's coming honey..i need you to do stuff thing...that is the oldest trick in the book. i have had parties just to get my hubby to finish things/do things...i fall asleep in the recliner in my uncles room at the nursing home...he's napping and i'm napping....

Holly Kay said...

Parties make husbands do things around the house??? Why am I always the last person to know about stuff like this?

You did ALL that STUFF? That was one long list of accomplishments!

Grayquill said...

Pat: Thank you! You say, I have been tricked? Hmmm….
I am glad hubby is prepared with a big truck – I like a man who plans for all possibilities.

Hilary: I am sure – But it would have been a nicer alternative than the Goodwill parking lot. :)

Asif: You are too kind! Thanks. As to the husband thing in India – bring my wife over for a month and she will have them all whipped into shape by the end of the month :)

Nim: Thanks for the congrats and yes , I did do all that work – I even left a few things out that got lost in the flurry.

The Survivor: Thank you! I really expected a bit of sarcasm from you – but how nice to get just a compliment. I accept.

Amrita: Thank you!

Arkansas Patti: You and Pat I think are in the same club as my wife. Grrr….

GLB: I thought you might be glad to hear about my weight loss. I keep reminding myself of your advice. “Hunger feelings are my friend”
Nice play on words btw :)

Anita: Thanks for taking time to note my compassion – I almost thought it was lost…. hee hee

Grayquill said...

Choco: OK – 13 is not my lucky number. I do not limit myself to just one number I have lots of lucky numbers. #2 – Yeah, Okay maybe, I think, possibly, but only when I try to stay on task – otherwise who really notices? #3 That is true – when I am by myself no tries to sneak handfuls of my popcorn. #4 True #5 I just don’t know what that means #6 I just don’t know what that means. #PS – some people are nicer than others:)

Blunt Edges: I think I am just going to be nice to you for once and let you have that comment :)

AngelMc: So are you telling me you are also part of the Pat and Arkansas Patti club of mean women? I think things are escalating. I am glad you have a safe place to nap.

Holly Kay: I guess you need to hang out with Pat, Arkansas Patti and AngelMc –oh and Mrs. GQ. Thanks for stopping by!

Frank Baron said...

Congrats on the weight loss. Hope I can report something similar in a couple of months.

I also hope you've stopped beating yourself up about your attempts to help the homeless guy. You did more than 99%+ would do. The couple days in a safe haven just might have averted some dire happenstance. Ya' never know.

Good for you.

MA Fat Woman said...

Good job on getting all of those chores done. And the weight loss is awesome too.

Sylvia K said...

Hey, congrats on the weight loss! I've been in such a snit because of the virus that grabbed my computer the very week my computer guru was out of town. But she returned yesterday and had me back up and running within an hour and without me losing anything. But I didn't deal very well with not being able to go online for five and a half days!! Hope your week is going well!

Sylvia

Grayquill said...

Frank Baron: You are right, we never do know what could make a difference. Thanks for stopping by.

Ma Fat Woman: Thanks

Sylvia: That has gotta hurt. I am glad you are back up and running. Thanks for the congrats.

Anonymous said...

You really did do alot!! I didn't even thank you for all your hard work. I really did appreciate all of it and you!

me:)

Dianne said...

burn more calories than you consume!? who would have thunk it. all those pills and powders are a waste of money

you didn't want to observe the shower? they're so entertaining ;)

Lynda G. said...

PS I found your thirteen pounds...I think it ended up on my behind! WANT IT BACK!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!? HAHAHAHAHAHA!