Friday, November 20, 2009

Men Cry

Sitting in the car he rested his head on the steering wheel for several minutes. Tired so tired; he had driven aimlessly through the last hour and here his wondering ended. Inside the house was stability where childhood scrapes and bruises had once been tended.
He was in his prime but felt ancient as he worked his way out of the car and onto his feet, he moved toward the house each step an effort, slumped shoulders, head drooped, and the downward gaze cast a gloomy curse on the ground with each forward motion. It had been a particularly hard week full of grief, and his fractured heart dragged behind him adding to the weight. Nothing in his thirty-five years had prepared him for the course now set before him.
Across the room an aging mother observed her son as he entered the house and a mother’s intuition emerged, “how are you doing son?” As they embraced a greeting, “You are not doing to good are you?” The words broke him and the tears soon turned to sobs and she held him.
The father stood to the side not moving. After several minutes the son looked up with tears cascading down his face and the two men’s eyes connected. The younger quickly diverted his eyes but not before a small amount of shame leaked out knowing his father saw him broken.
The father stayed motionless and gave no rebuke. He was dealing with his own brokenness. Here his son was hurting and he felt small and helpless. He wiped away a tear but it went unnoticed by the son.
After all men don’t cry.

15 comments:

June Saville said...

That's the point Grayquill - men do cry, at least inwardly, and hopefully they can be proud of it.

Sylvia K said...

Yes, men do cry and as June says, hopefully they can be proud of it! It doesn't matter whether we're male or female, we all experience pain and hurts and if it's ok for women to cry, then why not men? It has nothing to do with "being strong", it has to do with being human and having feelings and that's true regardless of whether you are a man or a woman.

Great post, Grayquill!

Sylvia

Anita :) said...

Men are men, but they truly are human! Thats the best personality trait I love about men. They cry, but are strong enough to hold it within. This strength which drives them to 'appear' tough to his kids and thats what makes a Dad, a Dad. The way he dares to drop a tear when his wife is around, is ultimately what makes him, a man.

Anita :) said...

And where were you , Grayquill, all these days?

Ashley said...

Men are told not to cry..So it means that much more when they do...
This was beautifully told..I could picture them in my mind...

Amrita said...

Oh yes men do cry. Many preacher cry while preaching and my Dad shed a tear or two.

The Survivor said...

Men do cry but I guess such an image has been created for men that if they cry, it went against them.

blunt edges said...

awesome potrayal that! it almost felt like a scene playing out in front of me!

wonderful!

Grayquill said...

June Saville: I am not sure any man is proud of crying – but you right men cry.

Sylvia K: Thanks for your comment – Insightful as always!

Anita: I bet you wouldn’t respect a man who cried over trivial things. But I agree crying is part of being human. Interesting perspective I like it.

Ashley: Thank you for your nice words. Yes – Societies all over the world seem to have this universal message to boys – ‘Real men don’t cry’

Amrita: I have noticed certain preachers cry and some don’t when. I have to admit I like the ones that do a bit better.

The Survivor: Well said, Yip – the message is if you cry you are weak.

Blunt Edges: What a great compliment – Thanks!

Debra said...

Men...tears...something I've known about for quite some time. The real secret is though "it takes a strong man to cry".

Blessing GQ

Grayquill said...

Debra: Emotions I find are often insignificant, ie. when I cry over a Hallmark commercial - pathetic thats what that is.

Karthik said...

I never understood why strength is associated with 'not-crying'. I personally feel that only strong people can express their emotions without any inhibitions (I only mean in front of loved ones), no matter what they are. Any pretense is a weakness.
A very honest post. Liked it a lot.

Dianne said...

I came by to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving
I hope you are surrounded by warmth and love
and I hope the dog steals your turkey leg ;)

Riddhiculuos said...

Ok breaking stereotypes is really really important. at times it makes u go all the more worked up.. This is a very moving post.. as always one can feel this one... and after all men do cry.. Breaking the ice here.. very well done.. u can never get out of anecdotes.. told u right :)

and i wrote 2 long comments earlier.. but some problem that i failed to comment on yours and ashley's blog.. don't know i actually thought u guys mutually blocked me..hehhe
thanks for not doing that..

lovely lovely post :)

Arkansas Patti said...

Beautiful and powerful post GQ. It made me cry but then I am a woman and feel free to. I have found men do cry but just not so easily as we do. For us, a tender commercial can bring on the water.