Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Max Aswell Announcement

Max Aswell here…

It's been a while, woof, woof,... I have been begging Grayquill to let me tell you my really exciting great and wonderful news. I have a new son, Buster. Actually Buster is my cousin but he feels like a son. If I had a lap like you humans do, Buster would be right up in it wanting to be cuddled and loved on, that is if he could sit still. I am beginning to think my son could be A.D.D.
Having a little tike around the house is more tiring than I ever expected. He wears me out chewing on my ears, tail, and paws. Now and then I have to be a bit firm with the little guy. He has to learn manners and I guess it’s my job to do the teaching.
For the longest time it was just me and old Pepsi. Pepsi has gone to doogie heaven and I am still a little sad. Poor Pepsi was older than dirt and he smelled bad if you know what I mean. I have heard old people develop an old person smell also. Grayquill’s son says, Grayquill smells that way already. Now my nose is pretty sensitive and I noticed Grayquill smelled bad but I didn’t know it was old person smell – YUK!
I know you are not going to understand this, you being human and all, but we canines for the most part find the smells you humans abhor heavenly. In fact the stronger it is the more we want to roll around in it. But that Grayquill smell you can forget it, I am staying as far away from him as possible.
Buster apparently hasn’t noticed the odor because he likes Grayquill almost as much as Grayquill likes himself…. Sickening, that’s what it is - just plain sickening. I am hopeful Buster will develop a little wisdom before my parenting is completed. I have heard all parents feel like failures at one time or another. Hmmm…I wonder if I will ever feel that way? I sure hope not.
Well here are all the statistics: Buster is 18 pounds, has a size 13 paw, hair is yellow; he is just like me, 100% yellow lab. You know in dog world it is just like the commercials, ‘blonds have more fun’. Abe, that’s my master just in case some of you forgot, a few years back he had my plums cut off and I don’t have no fun no more. Oh sorry – Grayquill just reprimanded me. I guess that is over sharing…hey, I am a dog I don’t know all your stupid social norms.
Shhh…Grayquill’s not here right now let me break the rules again. Abe says Buster will get his plums cut off too and it cannot come soon enough. Buster keeps wrapping his front legs around me and doing the strangest thing. Abe says Buster will stop that nonsense as soon as he visits the vet and the vet goes snip snip. Honest! I can’t wait! It is so annoying! I was beginning to think he is homosexual and that was worrying me a bit. Abe assured me, Buster is as normal as I am. I guess that last comment wasn’t too politically correct seeing how I live in Seattle where if it isn’t normal it would be normal or if it was normal it wouldn’t be normal. I am so confused.
Here comes Grayquill everyone be quiet and don’t tell him what I told you he might be angry. In case you didn’t know, Grayquill is wound a bit too tight for living in Seattle.
I could tell you all about Busters really cute clumsiness but that would just be boring. I could tell you how all he wants to do is play and how adorable he is but that would also be just plain boring. I am trying to keep in mind that people are not as excited to hear, as I am to tell, cute stories about my new son.
So until next time; signing off - over and out.
Oh, one last thing; not to toot my own horn but at my house I am in charge unlike Grayquill’s house where a cat is in charge – now that actually makes me feel sorry for Grayquill. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody, not even Grayquill.


Anonymous said...

The truth is that dogs are a lot cleverer than humans who think they know the best about everything. Food is important, and love and tummy scratches and walks and SMELLS. Playing games is up there too, any game that involves catching, tugging, running, jumping and even fetching if that gets you a reward. I have my humans in the palm of my paw and the man always takes my side against the woman.
My name is Milou and I welcome you to blogland. I'm about the same size as Buster but a bit brainier 'cos I'm older and more experienced. Tell Grayquill to let you post more often, although not too often as we'll miss him.

With great respect,

Arkansas Patti said...

I just love Max's visits. He is just so darn funny. Really admire his acceptance of the Buster.
Often jealously rules when newbies crash a home but Max is showing great poise and understanding. They do look good together.
He sure has GQ pegged.

Sylvia K said...

Hey, Max sounds like Mojo, who has had to learn to tolerate Sam Schnauzer since we moved to Seattle! Max certainly seems to have a good take on everything particularly GQ and Buster! I love it! Not sure I'd want to read whatever Mojo has to say on those long, long days when her Dad is in Portland on business though!

Have a great day -- all of you!


riddhiculous said...

:D hhahaha So cuteeeeee I usually don't use such expressions for your posts.. but i loved the element of surprise and enjoyed keeping a secret with max..
And Max you rock.. thought of starting your own blog. there we won't have to hide from GQ as well... :)
ahem GQ- you rock completely,.. but you know just that so does max.. hehe ..
nice one

As the Mind Meanders said...

This is the warmest thing I have read today mate... you do have your heart in the right place.. and a sense of humour to die for...

Keep writing...

Valerie said...

Awww wonderful, now I'm remembering my Maxie. I absolutely adore Labs, especially yellow ones. I like the way you've written about them.

SandyCarlson said...

I love these guys!

Grayquill said...

Moannie: Hi Milou…Does Moannie scratch your belly or just he man of the house? You and Moannie’s man are bonded aye? Well take care of your masters, it’s a big job.

Arkansas Patti: That’s real nice – I like coming by but Grayquill has never really learned to share, at least very often.

Sylvia K: Never letting one talk isn’t that a bit un-American? Maybe Mojo needs to be interviewed. Hmmm…what secrets would he/she tell?

Riddhiculuos: Are you a devilish type? Taking pleasure in secrets? Interesting… You say I rock? Grayquill told me he had a dog that would chase rocks.

Mr. Mind: Thank you for you kind words – it means a lot!
Now let’ talk – First Choco and now you? UGH! I am a little ticked. Okay I will get over it…Take care of yourself!

Valerie: Gee Maxie and first Max could have been friends – boo hoo

Sandy Carlson: Thanks

Karthik Kotresh said...

Oh, they are so cute. I love dogs. It feels like heaven whenever I play with them. And you have three dogs?! You must be having tremendous fun then, eh? :-) I will certainly have dogs someday.
And the post was damn good. The idea of a dog doing all the talking is fantastic. Loved it to the core. :-)

Blunt Edges said...

n the great max is back!!!
n he has a son too!!! whoohoo
n the son is gay??? whoaaaa...that was fast realization ;)
n grayquill stinks? now wasn't that expected :P

Anita Jeyan said...

see? Max Aswell doesnt like the cat rule in Grayquill's house!..And he seems to be pretty possessive about Buster being close with Grayquill. Max Aswell is no simple dog. But good at heart and more lovable than most human beings:) Love ur Max Aswell posts, Grayquill! Feels like reading The Grimm.

Grayquill said...

Karthik: Sorry to disappoint you but I don’t have a dog, these dogs are my friend Abe’s dogs. I had a dog be she died. You will like having a dog when you get one. Thanks for the encouragement.

Blunt Edges: n=and – I am beginning to feel like I am back in first grade learning my words. Are you little by little transporting your short hand language into my graying brain? One word per post line up on line, word upon word, post upon post, Yikes…its mind control. From now on I will be wearing my tin foil hat when I read your comments or your posts – I am safe. (have you seen the movie signs?)
BTW – I don’t stink that is just a nasty rumor

Anita: Oh, contraire Max understands the cat rule it is one thing we agree on. Thank you!

Ashley said...

Buster is such a handsome pup. You must be so very proud!
And a cat ruling at Grayquill's house!!?!! Oh My!!! That really IS sad!

Grayquill said...

Ashley: WOOF, WOOF, WOOFHOO...we are in agreement. Yip Busters a good one.

Dianne said...

Oh Max!! You are so wise and sweet and wonderful. Buster is lucky to have an older brother like you

Pat said...

All I can say is that this is the best post I've read in a while!! I loved it!

Grayquill said...

Dianne: I can see why Grayquill likes you, you say the nicest things.

Pat: You are the continual encourager - Thanks, I appreciate the kind words.

Amrita said...

This is so cute GQ