Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Max Aswell Announcement
Max Aswell here…
It's been a while, woof, woof,... I have been begging Grayquill to let me tell you my really exciting great and wonderful news. I have a new son, Buster. Actually Buster is my cousin but he feels like a son. If I had a lap like you humans do, Buster would be right up in it wanting to be cuddled and loved on, that is if he could sit still. I am beginning to think my son could be A.D.D.
Having a little tike around the house is more tiring than I ever expected. He wears me out chewing on my ears, tail, and paws. Now and then I have to be a bit firm with the little guy. He has to learn manners and I guess it’s my job to do the teaching.
For the longest time it was just me and old Pepsi. Pepsi has gone to doogie heaven and I am still a little sad. Poor Pepsi was older than dirt and he smelled bad if you know what I mean. I have heard old people develop an old person smell also. Grayquill’s son says, Grayquill smells that way already. Now my nose is pretty sensitive and I noticed Grayquill smelled bad but I didn’t know it was old person smell – YUK!
I know you are not going to understand this, you being human and all, but we canines for the most part find the smells you humans abhor heavenly. In fact the stronger it is the more we want to roll around in it. But that Grayquill smell you can forget it, I am staying as far away from him as possible.
Buster apparently hasn’t noticed the odor because he likes Grayquill almost as much as Grayquill likes himself…. Sickening, that’s what it is - just plain sickening. I am hopeful Buster will develop a little wisdom before my parenting is completed. I have heard all parents feel like failures at one time or another. Hmmm…I wonder if I will ever feel that way? I sure hope not.
Well here are all the statistics: Buster is 18 pounds, has a size 13 paw, hair is yellow; he is just like me, 100% yellow lab. You know in dog world it is just like the commercials, ‘blonds have more fun’. Abe, that’s my master just in case some of you forgot, a few years back he had my plums cut off and I don’t have no fun no more. Oh sorry – Grayquill just reprimanded me. I guess that is over sharing…hey, I am a dog I don’t know all your stupid social norms.
Shhh…Grayquill’s not here right now let me break the rules again. Abe says Buster will get his plums cut off too and it cannot come soon enough. Buster keeps wrapping his front legs around me and doing the strangest thing. Abe says Buster will stop that nonsense as soon as he visits the vet and the vet goes snip snip. Honest! I can’t wait! It is so annoying! I was beginning to think he is homosexual and that was worrying me a bit. Abe assured me, Buster is as normal as I am. I guess that last comment wasn’t too politically correct seeing how I live in Seattle where if it isn’t normal it would be normal or if it was normal it wouldn’t be normal. I am so confused.
Here comes Grayquill everyone be quiet and don’t tell him what I told you he might be angry. In case you didn’t know, Grayquill is wound a bit too tight for living in Seattle.
I could tell you all about Busters really cute clumsiness but that would just be boring. I could tell you how all he wants to do is play and how adorable he is but that would also be just plain boring. I am trying to keep in mind that people are not as excited to hear, as I am to tell, cute stories about my new son.
So until next time; signing off - over and out.
Oh, one last thing; not to toot my own horn but at my house I am in charge unlike Grayquill’s house where a cat is in charge – now that actually makes me feel sorry for Grayquill. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody, not even Grayquill.