Top 10 things a man should know and accept before getting married.
Inspired by Anita from her Top Ten Husband Myths–
I dedicate this to the young men who pass by this way now and then.
Okay, let’s get to it – Oh just so you know none of these 10 points below apply to Mrs. Grayquill (see point 3).
1. You must never say – “I never said that” if she said you said it, you said it.
2. You must never say – “that is just not logical” Male logic is useless. Female logic is that time once a month when she will tell you she has complete and total clarity. Try hiding.
3. Understand and accept that a happy wife makes for a nice life in contrast a cranky wife makes for a sad life.
4. Develop the skill of mind reading this equates to survival – if she actually has to tell you something she needs – it will be meaningless when you do it and it could actually be held against you.
5. Realize the three most important words you need to know in the English language are “I am sorry.” These three words must be practiced so that you can say it with conviction even when you have no idea what it is you are sorry about.
6. Learn to tell yourself you are in-charge in-spite of massive evidence to the contrary. Denial is a must for keeping ones manhood intact.
7. Do not think for a minute, that the infraction you did 6 months ago or 6 years ago is forgotten.
8. Realize that what you did is not a small thing regardless of how insignificant you thought it was. Remember a woman can say to another woman I see you wore your blue dress today. That single sentence can make the two enemies for life. Go ahead furrow that brow and scratch your noggin it won’t help you won’t be able to understand, it is much better just to accept it.
9. It is self deception to think that those flowers will get you out of trouble. The only thing that has a chance of working is whatever you buy must cost a minimum of one month’s salary; then you might have a chance but only a small chance – Good Luck!
10. Never, I mean never, think it is okay to belch or fart within hearing distance of your lady and if by some weird phenomena she happens to fart or belch pretend you didn’t notice. Why you ask? Just trust me on this one.
11. Bonus...it will help if you can stand on your head.