Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Very Bad Scary News


The Very Bad Scary News…you are going to die...
You don’t really want to think about that do you?
Our life starts out pretty good for the first nine months or so. We are nestled in a warm safe place, no worries, no responsibilities, we haven’t embarrassed ourselves yet, no peer pressure, no bullies in our world, the rent is free, things are pretty gosh darn good. Then one day, the pressure starts, we are squeezed, pushed, and finally pooped out into a room of bright lights. We had never seen light before and it hurts our eyes – actually I don’t really remember that part. Oh, and, what is that terrible feeling? It blasts our tender skin, it is AIR touching us for the first time and we are all wet – Brrrrrr. Think about it, had we ever experienced cold before? I guess it’s possible if mom ate way too much ice cream, then we might have experienced cold. Considering all we went through in those first few minutes it is really no wonder we cried… well, me and Chuck Norris didn’t cry – but the rest of you did.
There are 7 billion people on the earth – who is the weirdo that did all that counting? In the next 70 years and at the outside realm up to 100 years (for all you exception sticklers) all seven billion of us will be dead. Did I kind of sneak that in without warning? Sorry. Now that you are awake, take a guess how many of us have to die each and every day just to make that happen? 191,780 per day, but probably more like 273,972 people per day. That is a bunch, 11,415 per hour, 190 per minute, 3.1 per second. The 3.1 per second doesn’t sound so bad does it? Unless of course it is your second then it’s a very bad second.
People dying will be as common as changing light bulbs. If I could live longer than the rest of you – I might start up a funeral home. I think I might do okay too except I will be kicking the bucket sooner than most, that is if the law of averages really does work. What a nice reflection – Grayquill.
I just thought I would share these happy thoughts with you, seeing how Halloween is coming. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock…creeee-py…creeee-py…creeeepy.
Let the words bless your soul.

19 comments:

Arkansas Patti said...

You did such a grand job describing birth, ah, I remember it well.
Great stats on dying. How can we be afraid of something EVERYONE does? Now if I were the first, it might be different.
Fun post Grayquill. Well done.

The Survivor said...

A Chuck Norris Fan?

The nine months were certainly great everything was free.

Great Stats. Hope you are not the one who collects the souls :)

Sorcerer said...

haha..I agree with the comment of the survivor

if you collect souls..keep em dry by puttin em up in a dry horlicks bottle

Anita :) said...

Scary..! Good Lord when will my 'second' come?

Pat said...

It's kind of like the old saying, "everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die". Me either! But when that day comes...all is well with my soul.

Karthik said...

Ha ha.. "Me and Chuck Norris didn't cry - but the rest of you did" lol.... :)
And I wonder how you calculated all that stuff. Did you use a super computer or something?? :)

As always a splendid post. Enjoyed it. :)

Sylvia K said...

Great post, Grayquill! I've pretty much enjoyed every minute since I slip slided into this world and what bad times there have been just made the good ones that much better. Do you do this kind of musing frequently? Love it!

Have a great weekend -- who knows how many any of us have left, huh???

Sylvia

MA Fat Woman said...

Yep, you just never know...

Grayquill said...

Arkansas Patti: You remember it well? I bet you do – Ha…

The Survivor: Chuck fan? No – but the jokes are pretty funny.
FYI – I am not the one who collects souls. But why do you hope I am not the one?

Sorcerer: Sorcerer of what? And, what’s a horlick?

Anita: That is a question we all ponder at one time or another. Just be ready when it comes. See Pat’s comment.

Pat: That’s what living on grace is all about – great comment.

Karthik: Thanks – you heard the one about how they found a cure for cancer? The cure is Chuck Norris’s tears – to bad Chuck Norris never cries.

Sylvia: I only do this kind of musing when I am desperate for a post. Thankfully God knows exactly how many we have left.

MA Fat Woman: Yep!

Lynda G. said...

...HA! And you asked me last week if I was feeling morbid today! ;)
Happy Weekend!

Grayquill said...

Lynda: So were you? Ha! Happy Weekend back at you!

Sumit said...

Oh heck, that was morbid indeed! :P One of prof keeps quoting, "Life can simply be defined as movement towards death." and that definition irks me a lot.

But well, statistically, your post is spot on, though personally, I'd rather have fun as long as I live. :D

Grayquill said...

Sumit: Fun - is good but when do you sleep. Don't marry because that will require you to think of you mate above yourself and that is not always fun. You can not work because work is not always fun. But then you won't have any money and that isn't to fun. Don't get close to anyone - they could die and that for sure will not be fun. Are you having fun yet?
Sorry - I got carried away but it was sure fun.

Debra said...

Funny you should mention this. Sometimes, when I really want to get my children, I tell them on a good day, I most likely have less than 30 years to live (I'm 56)! Just kidding with them of course, but it's true.

Not being morbid or anything, just measuring my days, and making each and every day count!

Blessings GQ

Ashley said...

It is amazing how every time you post on your blog, you find something new to write about!

You sure know how to live...how to blog...how to conjure up stuff....
...But now let me go and invest in the funeral business..While I still have time...Cheers!

Grayquill said...

Debra: Measuring my days – that’s some advice that needs to jump up a few notches on my focus scale – especially the count part.

Ashley: Before you go out and invest your life savings – remember a good business is built on repeat customers. That might be a bit hard to accomplish in the funeral business – Ha!

silverine said...

LOL!!! What a cheery way to put it! :p

Ashley said...

LOL!!!
Grayquill...You forget an important thing...The funeral business does have repeat customers....Guaranteed repeat customers**Not the same ones but who cares**...Who book in advance..Demand is stable and may even exceed supply in some unforeseen circumstances....

I am so thankful for this post..You have no idea.. :)
Cheers!

blunt edges said...

i just checked my pulse 2 ensure i ain't dead yet! ;)

chuck norris would be a happy man! ;)