Sunday, February 28, 2010

When the Path is Dark

I wrote this shortly after the Haiti earthquake.
When the path is dark and the trail is crooked it is hard to walk straight without tripping. Many times trials have come, and dragged me along with his companions’ grief, sadness, and despair…. Here again I am at one of those times. The TV screen flashes images that scream accusing me again, that God deserted his creation and more personally me. Feelings, emotions fill the room strangling a faith that only a few days earlier was secure.
From my early youth I was taught the traditional Christian message. That God is just, completely righteous, perfect in every way, everlasting in his love, all powerful, and who is completely faithful. It was never a debate in my mind that I was a sinner, as I demonstrated regularly the opposite of God’s traits. I had no trouble with the teaching that my sin separated me from this righteous God. The Christian teaching that taught, God provided a way to remove my sin, and this I accepted. Intellectually, I understood He took upon himself the penalty for my sin, but an intellectual understanding is hollow, and in that hollow place, dance the demons that major in fear. It took some time before I could believe that it all applied to me and accept that the Father was rather warmhearted toward me.
I came to a place where the taught tradition became my personal faith; where I depend on the creator to be all that the scriptures say He is. On more than one occasion it has been necessary to choose faith in God and his goodness even though my feelings were telling me the complete opposite. Here we are, one more time where feelings are just not reliable.
These are times where old messages, old convictions, come and steer me along this bumpy path called faith. Memories of past struggles help pick me up and put me back on the straight path.
At times I get a bit peeved at our creator by His way of faith but I am thankful that he is fond of me.


Arkansas Patti said...

Sometimes our faith gets a sharp rap in the heart and is tested severly. I think losing a loved one, especially a child tests us the most.
I do not think that the black things vested on us lately are God's will. Some events,like Haiti or Chile are just nature run amok. I don't believe God "allows" them to occur. God gives us the strength to get through them and to help where we can. He is fond of us all.

Pat said...

I'm reminded of a song.."Oh how He loves you and me...". I'm so thankful too.

Anonymous said...

This happens very rarely with me. But after reading your post, I am left with no words. Only thoughts. Of the times that I had felt my own faith in self and God wavering, and of the times I had faith but managed to keep it aside and live life as is.

One cannot explain calamities. Why? Innocent people who have harmed no one. Little children.

I have a bone to pick with God, if I were to ever see him.

Keep the faith Grayquill. Maybe these things happen to help us grow... and feel -for others.

Harini said...

I am actually speechless. I remembered the times when my faith has shaken a wee bit about God.

Tall Guy said...

I don't know about faith on god I gave that up long time ago.

What I do believe in is faith in oneself. At least one knows what they are dealing with.

S. Susan Deborah said...

I have this debate within me and I talk it out with Him. I just tell him how my intellect does not allow me to believe certain aspects of life. But personal faith is one which sustains me. I don't ever blame him for anything. I just believe that in our imperfections, he is made perfect. I liked the candid way you expressed a very existential meandering of the mind.

I feel I know you better GQ, after this post.

Thanks for sharing this.

Joy and peace,

steveroni said...

Came here from Susan's blog. You write well. Yep, I believe that God is Perfection, actually, Perfect LOVE!

God does not CAUSE the earthquakes, wars, hunger, pestilences. Even though "allowed"...there is that othet great power in the world. I sure like your blog, and will be BACK.

Blunt Edges said...

i quite dunno what 2 say...just didn't wanna leave without a comment

Grayquill said...

Arkansas Patti: I never faced the loss of a child that would be a horror I would not want to think about.
One author I read says (paraphrase) Can we only attribute what we consider to be ‘good’ from God?
Thanks for your comment – I appreciate you!

Pat: That is a great song – One of my favorite “He gave his life what more could he give, Oh, how he loves you and me…What he did there brought hope from despair, Oh how he loves you and me…
You always bring along a pleasant brightness when you come to my blog – I appreciate you!

Choco: I have little faith in self – I have fallen and bruised myself too many times to trust this self – but the Father is always faithful and fully trustworthy.
I like it when you speak from your heart – There is the real Choco – It is my hope you will always walk in truth and be a REAL truth seeker.
I do believe a byproduct of pain is empathy for others – that is for sure a truth. God Bless!
I appreciate you!

Harini – Only shaken a wee bit? I think you are understating – may God bless you as you seek him and that you will always find him faithful and the fullness of love.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that you may have life, and have it abundantly.” – Jesus

The Survivor: Thank you for commenting on a posting such as this – I hope you are a true truth seeker.
“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” - Jesus

Susan Deborah: I hope your personal faith is in Him who is faithful always – Great comment! Thanks for always having thoughtful comments. You are appreciated.

Steve F: Thank you for the nice compliment!
I wonder can we only take the good and not the bad?
Thank you for stopping by and thank you for taking the effort to make a comment.

Blunt Edges: You are the best! Thanks! I really like it when you stop by - Always the gentleman.

Asif said...

Good post and nice selection of subject. :)
May the world is filled with peace and happiness.

Anita Jeyan said...

Tough subject to write on, Grayquill...Sometimes innocent people are victims to such cruel events..and we wonder why..our faith is shaken..we ask unnecessary questions to God... finally the bottom line is...He is all powerful and there is some purpose to everthing that happens around us... this is probably not comprehensible to his creations..and that makes us so different from the Father in Heaven.

Dianne said...

I have seen so many reports from Haiti showing the people there singing and thanking God, they amaze and humble me

Grayquill said...

Asif: Thanks for stopping by, it is appreciated!

Anita: Yes we are certainly different than then the Father. And yes we question, it is interesting He doesn’t ever ask my opinion HA! :)

Dianne: Great observation and great comment. Those are amazing and inspiring pictures – there is much to be learned in those pictures.