Saturday, August 8, 2009

Mr. E

Mr. E a special man – I was dating his daughter and he didn’t much like me. I guess who can blame him. He came home for lunch and found me with his daughter un-chaperoned in a dark room with all the blinds pulled. Hmmm…
He would sit and talk to me, “So Grayquill, what are you planning now that you are out of high school?”
“Well, while all my friends are heading off to college, I will be heading for the mountains, I am planning to go hunting every day and the days I am not hunting I hope to fish or work to buy a new car. I got a real nice rifle last year it shoots straight as a gun can shoot. You want to go shooting sometime?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
I received the cold shoulder from Mr. E all the time I dated his daughter. And, of course being the rebellious young man I was, taking his daughter from him when he didn’t like me made it all the better. Weeks stretched into months and 14 months later. I sat in front of Mr. E asking to marry his daughter. The strangest thing happened that night. Mr. E became my best friend. He put aside all his negative feelings toward me at least on the outside. From then on every time I was with him he was so very interested in all that I was doing. He encouraged me and was excited about what I was excited about. He never wavered once in his kindness and affirming spirit. And, when a great tragedy came my way he listened to much of my grumbling about how unfair God had been to allow such an injustice. Even though he was a minister he never defended God in all those conversations. By the time he died I loved that man dearly.
Years later in front of me sat a young man who I didn’t like much (does any father like the man who wants to take his daughter in the beginning?) asking me for my daughter’s hand. Guess what – that young man might not know it but I am his best friend. He for sure knows I believe in him.
Once Mr. E began loving me I never wanted to disappoint him and I don’t think I did.
And, up until now my son-in law has not disappointed me – in fact I am so very proud of him. He is a man of high character – my daughter chose very well.
I miss Mr. E.


Tall Guy said...

I guess it was a father's worry about her little girl

I think its difficult for a father when time comes to hand over to the man she would spend the rest of her life with. Making sure that he takes good care of her.

June Saville said...

We parents are just so touchy when it comes to our kids. There are such tensions all around at those times, so I suppose it's not surprising that we go off the rails sometimes.

Betty said...

My son-in-law says he thought I didn't like him at first. Not true. I just didn't know how to react, and I didn't want to do or say anything to embarrass my daughter. When they decided to get married, I told my daughter that I would love him exactly as long as she did. That was 18 years ago, and we still do.

Joy Des Jardins said...

What a sweet story honest and touching. I have two sons-in-law that I love very much....really wonderful guys. My girls chose well, and that's all any parent can ask for. I feel very blessed to have them in my family.

Debra said...

My father caught my boyfriend kissing me in the kitchen one night and ran him off. He was just 16 years old and I was 14. He didn't stay gone for long though. In May we celebrated our 37th wedding anniversery.

I've enjoyed visiting your blog tonight for the 1st time. Just stumbled upon it and it made me smile.

Blessings of peace and all that is good.

Grayquill said...

The Survivor: You hit the nail on the head. The father has a hard time realizing his job is done.

June Saville: Touchy – that is a good description and off the rail – Yes, I want to go off the rail for anything, who cares what it is. Grayquill went off the rail – it has such a nice sound to it.
Truth there was only once when I came close to going off the rail for one of my children but I remember thinking, if you hit this guy you will go to jail. That is the only thing that stopped me because he deserved the ----kicked out of him

Betty: Interesting qualifier – I hope you don’t ever have to play that card. Eighteen years is a pretty good indicator you won’t have to. Sounds like he is a keeper. Congrats.

Joy Des Jardins: Thank you – what a great compliment. Sounds like those son-in-laws are beginning to feel like sons. Great comment. Thank you for sharing and stopping by.

Debra: A Southern Gospel music lover –YES! I like you already. 37 years that is great. Are you still kissing in the kitchen? If you’re not don’t tell me I want to think you are. Thanks for coming by.

Dianne said...

beautiful story Roadquill ;)

the power of love
Mr E loved his daughter so he would love her choices
once open to loving someone we start to see all there really is in there to love

Kokonad said...

This is such a beautiful story, Grayquill! It feels so nice when in-law relationships work out beautifully if both realize how much the other has love and care for the common object of their affection.

Elizabeth Mahlou said...

What a story, and a good lesson for all parents because duaghter or son, we always think they could do better -- until we really get to know the person they have chosen to marry. My father-in-law was what one might call a "frumpy old man." His children were frightened of him, even as adults. However, he and I got along fabulously. He had been a captain in the US Army during WWII and as a military officer myself I loved listening to his stories. (I might have been the only audience he had, but his stories were truly interesting to me.) One day, he excused himself as we were talking war stories at the table, just he and I (at the time, a first lieutenant). He returned a few minutes later and handed me a small box. "These are my captain bars from WWII," he said. "Take them. I will never have a son who will wear them, but I have a daughter-in-law who may." They are one of my greatest treasures.

Anonymous said...

Wow...I was marveling how wise your father-in-law was and how wise you are for writing something like this....then I get to the comments and realize that everyone who have commented seem so wise....Is it really so or is it the effects of the blog and the blogger's writing? I wonder.....

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

That's so nice you like your son-in-law now. My dad liked Gerard too. I was so glad I had my parents' blessing when I finally married.

Grayquill said...

Dianne: Thanks – I think Mr. E was smart enough to make the best of what he thought to be a bad situation.

Kokonad: Mr. E was a great man and easy to respect. But we both had the same goal of wanting the best for a beautiful lady.

Elizabeth Mohlou: Great story about your father in law. Did you mean frumpy or grumpy – kidding. You said the bars are one of your greatest treasures, I can see why. Your father in-law sounds like a great man.

Choco: Wasn’t I lucky? And, you are always thinking - I wonder too.

Karen: Thanks for stopping by – my son in law is easy to like.

Amrita said...

Hello greyquill, thank you for visiting me and leaving such a nice comment. I really like your header introduction.

Why have you christened yourself Greyquill? Or is it your n real name?Just curious.

Mr E was a special man.

Grayquill said...

Amrita: Mr E. was special.
The name Grayquill came years ago when I was signing up for a service and needed a name. I did not want to use my real name. I was tying flies and there on the page was a picture of a fly called Grayquill. So I thought perfect. I like to fly fish and I am turning gray and I like to write. I just wish I had some American Indian blood in me than it would have been more perfect – if more perfect can be better than perfect.
Thanks for stopping by. I still think your curry deep fried egg recipe sounds really good.
I just gotta learn how to boil an egg.

A journey called Life said...

a very nice and touching write up.. reminds me of my dad when he was 'talking' to my husband to be.. this inspite of the fact that it was an arranged marriage (does this concept sound alien to u)..
Mr E was a revelation, from not liking you initially to the stage where he was your best buddy- what a transformation!

Grayquill said...

Yes the arranged wedding makes my mind twist like a pretzel but I think the success rate is higher than a kid zipped up on hormones.
Mr. E showed me the power of choice and the power of believing in someone.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Grayquill said...

M Riyadh Sharif: Thank you

Blunt Edges said...

well-written did i see a sensitive part of grayquill here :)

talk about the circle of life! :D

Grayquill said...

Blunt Edges: If you saw a sensitive side -keep it quite. Thanks for the comment.

Michele Mallory-Davidson said...

What a wonderful story! I hope that someday my sons-in-law feel like I love and believe in them! My in-laws have always been wonderful, I remember my soon to be father-in-law telling me that he love me and wanted to be my dad(they have no daughters), I love him to death for that! I think the best gift we can give anyone is to believe in them, and you and I have had good examples to learn from!

Grayquill said...

Michele: When I was young I acted like I had it all together but inside yearned for an older person to tell me I was going to do fine. As I get older I have to keep telling myself, “don’t forget what is was like when you were a young man, you have more influence than you think you do.”
I think you your son in-laws will know you love and believe in them –because I just bet you will not only tell them but will show them respect. You are to positive for this not to happen!