Thursday, March 15, 2012

Women Authors Hmmm.....

I am beginning to think that Jodi Picoult is one of those really really smart people that bug me way too much. Normally I have an aversion to reading books written by women.

Hmmmm….strange. I suddenly feel a bit of hatred radiating back at me from those of the opposite sex over this super highway?  Hate or no hate, the truth is the truth, I perfer male authors.  
A few weeks back I broke down out of sheer desperation and read a book written by the famous Jodi Picoult. Actually I read two of her books. Okay! It wasn’t out of desperation that I fell in love with Ms Picoult. It was advice from my wife that started the reading.  I so enjoyed Jodi's writing I could not resist doing a bit of stalking…….of course I Googled her – why wouldn’t I? Yip, in likity split time, I had her email address. Well, you know as well as I do getting a response from a celebrity author like Picoult would probably be close to a miracle. I knew I needed something in the subject line to get her attention. I decide to go with me true guttural feelings toward my new love - “Women Authors - Hmmm…..”

Now, those who read my blog now and then realize, I think I am pretty funny. You also know, I have come to understand that it is only the really smart people who don’t fully appreciate how funny I really am. In fact some have argued that I am the only one laughing. Well hum bug to all you cynics.
My email to Ms. Picoult after much effort finally came to completion, which I peppered with several near hysterical lines that normal people would roll off their chairs laughing at. As you can imagine off I sent my brilliant email. In it I told her she was my new favorite woman author. I felt that was quite an honor to bestow on the lovely lady.

As you can imagine I got a response back from Jodi Picoult in a mere five hours. Now here comes the rub. It seems she did not think I was funny at all or she forgot to mention it (that's probably it). Can you believe it? Well that’s all I am going to say about that. Although I did mention in my email to Ms. Picoult that even though I loved her writing and she was now my new favorite woman author, she was unable to bump my favorite all time author Louis L'Amour from the top spot. I felt I had some pretty good logic for keeping him in that high position. You know he did die a mere two decades ago don’t you? It just seems downright rude to bump a dead guy from his lofty perch; after all he isn’t even here to defend himself. Talk about kicking a guy when he is down – that seems so wrong. What do you think?
Lastly - even if Jodi Picoult is a really really smart person - I give her books a full five stars - Go buy five. "The Perfect Match" and the "Plain Truth" are great!

Today I had one of those bad moments. I was at a business affair and apparently when registering, I inadvertently either picked up or was intentionally handed a woman’s name tag instead of my own. The woman’s name tag I was handed is about four pay grades above mine.  Not that that detail matters all that much, but I do think it is worth mentioning and it could add to some of my remorse.  

Gatherings of this type often make me a bit nervous in the first place, so in my hyper focusing for the exact perfect place to pin the name tag, I really did not even look at whose name I was actually pinning on my shirt. About half way through the day, a lady who later laughed hysterically at me, with tears were running down her cheeks, ask me how I pronounced may last name. She tried pronouncing it but the sound coming across her lips was not even close to how my name should sound. I then discovered my shame and error. What makes this story extra bad. A colleague earlier had held my correct name tag up for me to see in an effort to help me out. Well in Grayquill land where the dots often connect a bit differently then say… the average person, I in my brilliance assumed some one thought I should have two name tags, probably because I am so important. Naturally I ignored my helpful friend. Sitting here confessing; I now recall several consistently odd smiles I was given earlier in the day. One etched deep in my memory is that half smile my boss gave me. I wonder if I will have that privileged chair in her office tomorrow.  Oh well, what can I say, I am Grayquill.



bettyann said...

I'm sorry Ms Picoult didn't appreciate your humor. Maybe she's not as smart as you thought she was. I would think she'd be flattered to be in the company of Louis L'Amour. I read one of her books and didn't much like it. Take that, Jody.

Sylvia K said...

Good to see you back online. Thanks for the smiles this morning -- they are appreciated these days! Glad you found a woman writer that you like, personally, I don't particularly care for most of them although I do have a favorite or two. Oh, and be sure to check out you name tag next time! What a hoot! Have a great weekend!


Pat said...

Jodi Picoult is good, but she's no Grayquill.
Glad to see a new post, I've missed reading your adventures!

Linda at To Behold The Beauty said...

I do confess that my hackles shivered a little at your distaste for women authors, as I have read books by some outstanding ones. But you redeemed yourself somewhat by singing the praises of Louis L'Amour. We have virtually the entire collection of his novels and many of his short stories, as well as "The Sackett Companion. My husband and I are both Louis L'Amour devotees.

I've not read anything by Jodi Picoult, but you've piqued my interest.

Hilary said...

Ahh I've only discovered Ms. Picoult recently and quite enjoyed the couple of books I've read so far. Neither of which were the ones you mentioned. Thanks for the reminder.. a library visit is in order.

I suspect you're quite a hoot to know. With or without the proper name tag.

Grayquill said...

Betty Ann: I am so flattered your sticking up for me :-) This has to be a banner day!

Sylvia K: I am glad you got a smile. I love that you never try being one of those stuffy smart people.

Pat: Thank you! – I hope you doing well and are back giving Hal the what for and running him up and down over hither and yon to some fresh new estate sales.

Linda: Calm those hackles – your favorites are safe. The first time I heard you read Louie I was surprised – there the bias seems to change and women don’t normally care for the guy. His writing is light but his story telling is masterful. Thank you for offering a bit of grace.

Hilary: A hoot? My kids just call
me quirky but they don’t know nothing…not a one of them have ripened yet, only the oldest has reach three decades of life.

Anonymous said...

I have never heard of her... Or of the other author. Did Grayquill mention his blog or his book in his email to her? Maybe if she knew Grayquill better, she would have gotten his humor as well. I find him very funny. Or maybe Grayquill's mail went to her on not so nice a day. Forgive her Grayquill. She writes well now, doesn't she? :D

As for the second line in the post... The name tag switch incident may just have been Karma out to get you... Think about it.. :P

Grayquill said...

Hmmm....I think my post communicated poorly my feelings for Ms. Picoult. Her response was very nice and because of it my respect for her went up. to that Karma thing. If you don't beileive in it doesn't that make in not true and have no power??? If I got what I deserved...YIKES! I don't even want to think about it.

Anonymous said...

Lol. I like your "If you don't believe in it then it is not true and has no power" funda. Sounds like the truth. Maybe that'l keep karma at bay too. And then we can use the word coincidence. Haha :D

Anonymous said...

Oh and she was nice? All these years (?) of reading GQ's blog, and I missed on the humor... Sheesh! (Head hung in shame...) :|

Grayquill said...

Yes she was very nice! but what's this about you not getting my humor? I hope you are hanging you head in shame...or might you be pretending to be one of those really really smart people?

Anita Jeyan said...

Heyy I found you funny ! Yeah some female authors are not as smart as I am you see? Well GQ is well appreciated among his readers than the famous lady ! By the way, gender of the author playing a role in your choice of books hmm thats new,GQ. But not weird. ( Weird is my male friend reluctant to touch or hold new born baby girls... baby boys seem to be fine for him )... :D Name tag incident was a good read !

Dianne said...

could there be a connection between your thoughts/writing about women authors and the name of a woman suddenly leaping onto you chest?

Now I'm not that clever what with being all female and such but I do have a pretty decent sense of coincidence meaning something more.

Hope says she's going to send you the first copy of her first book and you better like it

and she sends hugs
me too

Grayquill said...

Anita: YES! I love being appreciated. Thank you! Your friend IS weird, I wouldn’t let him touch my baby, male or female.

Dianne: I have no idea what you are talking about – leaping women? I have only seen women leaping in the ballet.
As for reading Hope’s book – that is a given. I am sure she will immediately become my favorite woman author. All hugs accepted and all hugs back at you. – Thanks

Unknown said...

I've never thought of having fav male or female authors. Good books come from good authors. Period.
But you do make me think.... As i love gritty fantasy; all bloodbath and magical mayhem, the authors in that genre (books that i like that is) are exclusively male. There are a couple of female authors in my fantasy shelf, and they do the look-into-your-heart-romance-boo-hoo-hoo type of fantasy that i can accept.
Fantasy is a difficult theme. If you have been in a fight, you may be able to describe it in words properly. My fav author, who will be unnamed here, was a bouncer once, and his fighting scenesin books are most spectacular.
Female fantasy authors use political or romance intrigues as the basic point of their tale. Which is still mighty fine, knowing how women enjoy telling these ;)

Grayquill said...

Shadow: Yip - lady authors are often too lady like but then....why shouldn't they be? But, seeing life through the prism of womanhood is sometimes refreshing if not enlightening. That said, don't ask me to explain the female.

Shrinky said...

Oh what, no sharing of these emails to us, your loyal followers? Hmph, I'm disappointed in you, GQ - I want to see what you wrote AND the response, curious minds want to know!

Yikes, I cringed with you through your latest adventure and faux pas, because that is so easily something I could see myself mistakenly doing, too. It IS kinda' funny though.. sorry (snicker)

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

I agree with Bettyann's comment she should of been flattered to be even considered in the company of Louis L'Amour. It surprises me very much from reading your blog that you chose her as your favorite.
I guess I am too picky maybe I should read another one of her books and give her another chance.
Too darn funny about the name tag. Now that is something I would do.
Have a great week

Brig said...

Rarely care what sex the author is.
Just finished (for the second time) reading Rhythms by Neptunus Lex. Sincerely hope that they turn it into a book.
Take care.

Mary said...

Another great post, GQ--I like the juxtaposition of the two subjects about (egad!) women. I like many, though not all, of the Picoult novels I have read so far and look forward to checking out the two you mention.

Glad she was nice in her response (and, hey, getting a response sets her apart from some uppity well-knowns). In her defense, it can be difficult to know what is meant humorously in an email--especially one from someone you don't know. She may have taken the safest course in case what she thought was supposed to be funny wasn't meant that way. Or not--who knows?

Dianne said...

just checking in, was thinking about you

troutbirder said...

Hmmm. Interesting. I'd never quite thought of it all as a gender thing. Barbara Tuchman, Doris Kearns Goodwin and Sharon Kay Penman being among others of the gentle sex being among my favorites. On the other hands my spouses female book club consistently choses inspiring books I would never consider reading. And Victorian romances have no appeal either.... :)

Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMotte said...

It all started with my wife recommend her. From that line on I just knew you are playing around with the idea of the gender thing and why wish for fame?
How did he wrong name tag allow you to be at a higher level at a conference? Equality ?
As for gender amongst authors, what about George Sands? The name suggests a male. But?

AngelMc said...

Ahh GQ, I have missed you. Have you missed me?
Alas, I have not read JP...Is she chic lit? I can't stand pretty stories.
My favorite female author is Kitty Kelly...go figure...
Oh and have you read "The Glass Castle?" Quite a read...

Destiny's child... said...

Well, I did raise my brow when I came to the line that you are not really into reading women authors. But I don't blame you, some wrong books can do that anyone. And it's a pity that Jody didn't get your humour. Not a problem, as long as all your readers do. :)

The second incident was interesting (funny too!). Happens!