Yesterday I was to meet my wife for dinner at a local diner. She had earlier shared some great news with me and I thought I would shock her by actually bring her flowers for once when I wasn’t in trouble. As it happened, I arrived 15 minutes early and set the flowers on the table. From the glances I received walking in, it was hard to tell if the flowers in this particular restaurant was an oddity or just rare for an old guy to be carrying in flowers. Real flowers I knew were not normal because of all the plastic ones splashed around here and there where the dust had collected.
There was one particular old guy who watched me walk in, and if one saw him carrying flowers into a restaurant, every patron would know immediately he was in trouble with his wife. He could not stop looking at me sitting there by myself with those flowers lying on the table. I could see it was killing him. The curiosity finally overtook the poor soul and as him and his wife got up to leave he said, “Pretty flowers.”
“Yes, they are - every now and then I buy them for myself,” My answer did little to satisfy the poor creature. His brow furrowed, his lips went tight, and his eyes squinted down oh so slightly. I wanted to say, ‘you look confused, what’s the problem, don’t you buy yourself flowers?’ In this day and age, in our anything goes society, I could see he was at a loss as the many possible scenarios that flashed through his cranium. At best this was one of those awkward moments and I could see him scrambling for a response. I did have to admire the speed, his mind was not working. After sufficient discomfort had been allowed I added, “It is possible my wife might get them when she arrives.”
His face relaxed and I could see, once again all was right in his world. His wife then felt free to also admire the flowers.
The waitress who often waits on us came by to say, I shouldn’t have brought her flowers. She is cute enough I would probably have laughed at any attempt of humor on her part.
After my wife’s salad and my hamburger were consumed and we were preparing to leave and since our body language and conversation did not indicate I was there to make amends for some horrible very bad deed. The three waitresses had concluded that we must be out for our anniversary and said so. My wife told them her good news and all were appropriately impressed.
I would tell you the good news but at the moment I am not in trouble and I want to keep it that way. I will say the good news is NOT that we are going to have a baby but most of you already knew that.