Thursday, December 3, 2009

Tactical Error

When dating my wife to be, she had a Volkswagen bug. In the short time she had it, I seemed to always be working on it. I think the little car went through 2 accidents maybe three. I know I replace the trunk/hood and left rear fender, and she drove it with dark gray primer on the hood and fender until it ceased to exist.
Now if there are any young men out their reading this, it is time to pay attention. This little car I really despised, it was the most unreliable car I had ever encountered. One day she called me very upset. “Hi Grayquill, I got in a car accident.”
Young men are you paying attention? Here it is….Never, I mean never forget this advice – the words you are to say when encountering such a moment are, “I am so sorry, are you okay?” It is best to say these words with deep conviction and concern in your voice. Those words will communicate comfort, concern, and care. What not to say first is, “Is the car totaled?” This is an off the chart tactical error. I think this started our first big fight.
My male logic tried to explain, “Why are you so upset? I heard your voice and you sounded strong and healthy. So, why would I think you were hurt?”
It all made perfect sense to me but this was one of those times when logic was totally useless. I mean if her sister had called me and told me my finance had been in a car accident. Then of course I would have reasoned immediately she might have been hurt. But gosh darn it, she called me! And she sounded quite healthy. I think it is just wrong that I was able to get into so much trouble with so little effort. I wasn’t even trying to be bad. In fact I was trying to be good.
To make matters worse a few years later after we were married I repeated this folly. Why, why? Why was I not able to learn from the first episode?
Life is such a mystery.

15 comments:

Ashley said...

OMG! You did that Grayquill??? You actually inquired about the car!!?!! OMG!!! Un-Believable.... :o :O

Ohk...Now pray tell me if your wife blogs? If not..Where and How can I contact her? I feel I have to either learn from or teach her a few things...:p

Ashley said...

Oh!
Me first?
:)

Hilary said...

It's not entirely your fault. It's called "manbrain." As far as I know, it's incurable.

Arkansas Patti said...

What Hilary said ^ Perhaps it could be "trained" out of men but I doubt it. We just have to live with those shouting sessions followed by long periods of silence.

Susan Deborah said...

Certan things never change. Its the genetic make up. Blame the manufacturer!!!

:-)

P.S: Are the lessons learnt?

Joy always,
Susan.

Karthik said...

Was the car a real beauty? If yes, I understand you.
And I wont forget the lesson: "I'm so sorry, are you all right?" Got to say with conviction. Got to say with concern. Yes! I got it!
Thanks! :-)

Riddhiculuos said...

:) hahah u actually did that.. and accident? I thought only u got into them. hehe now i know runs in the family..
about the concern bit..hehe u r funny..
but this is not funny. ofcourse u should enquire "u ok dear" .. like it lessens the guilt of the accident. and i thought who knows better than a man who has been into accidents more than 17 times.. what gray.. not fair..

Pat said...

Oh Grayquil....this is so out of character for a man such as yourself. So full of wisdom and concern-this surprises me just about as much as you were surprised by my being a woman who likes an occasionl hot dog while shopping at Target.
Once while in my 20's (so long ago) I was in an accident while driving my dads new Pontiac - this was the era of the Pontiac being very hot. That's the same question he asked me. I was not amused, after all...I am his only daughter. I imagine what Mrs. Quill felt like and I totally agree with her. I'm glad you have realized the error of your ways.

Anita :) said...

GRAYQUILL, believable 100%. My husband would have done just the same. And the quarrel would definitely have happened. Even now at big shopping malls, he and his friends would wander away into gadget stores and I would be browsing through apparel stores... a while later he would call me, to ask if I still had the car keys or lost them. I hold the car keys because, unless otherwise, he would forget to pick me. Sob :(

kevquill said...

I still do not understand why she got mad? Hopefully my wife does not get into an accident or I could be in trouble too.

NIM said...

U did what?...and twice? seriously?...
Its a funny you read it though.. :P

blunt edges said...

i have noted it down buddy...but i don't understand what was wrong since she was fine! :¦

The Survivor said...

There must a long chat after that :)

Grayquill said...

Ashley: HA , HA – She doesn’t blog – Sorry. She does read this blog now

Hilary: Who said it was a disorder? – Why are ladies not more logical?

Arkansas Patti: Hmmm…..I thought it was the ladies that needed the training.

Susan Deborah: The genetic makeup as flawed as it is – the ladies still put up with us.

Karthik: The car was horrible – I was hoping it was gone. But I am glad the lesson got through :)

Riddhiculuos: Hey, most accidents are minor and bad accidents are mostly rare.

Pat: I see I have you fooled – Ahhh…
We men have to keep our priorities.

Anita: You have a focused husband – a good man!

KevQuill – It’s our first response that gets us into trouble the trick is thinking before opening mouth.
I agree though, why so angry.?

NIM: I am glad you enjoyed it. Yes twice I am still baffled :)
Thanks for stopping by!

Blunt Edges: I know I am still scratching my noggin – :)

The Survivor: Maybe there was a long chat – I try to forget all long chats.

Holly Kay said...

How could you do that?! Even worse than asking about the CAR before your GAL...is that you were asking about the car hoping it was, not that it wasn't, totalled. That's just heartless.

Then you did it AGAIN? Oh my gosh.