Men being bad and lazy come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. This morning at breakfast with the guys, conversation rolled along and at some point stories began being tossed back and forth of times when money was tight, creativity was fresh and boundaries of impropriety did not hold back less than impeccable conduct – all in the effort to make a lady think fondly of us men.
Here are a few highlights - - -
#1 Flowers for his lady from the dumpster behind the neighborhood flower shop – Friday the old flowers went in the dumpster and the new flowers arrived. This is my second favorite, it is almost brilliant!
#2 Flowers from the cemetery. After all – the poor soul has little or no use for them. If one looks carefully the flowers can be fairly fresh and FREE! Hmmm… I have a cemetery close by.
#3 This idea seemed good on the surface but ended badly for the husband. A man bought a contract from a flower company to have flowers delivered every Monday for a year to his wife. By week three she was board and the flowers were meaningless. He planned ahead but lost the benefit of, “Oh! You thought of me, you think I am special,” factor. There is also the, “I am no more important than something to be checked off your list.” This particular case won the bone head award – First he spent all that money and got nothing from it – reason enough to push it to the top of things never to do list.
#4 Valentine’s day – The gift was bought the day before Valentine’s Day but only because he happened to stop at an intersection where a guy was selling stuff alongside the road and it was convenient – her comment with almost tears in her eyes, “you planned ahead” – correct male response – smile and nod.
#5 The best way to buy your lady a gift – call the sales lady at your wife’s favorite store. Give the sales lady a price range, ask her to pick something out, wrap it, and request it be left with the door man. This way you can get said gift without actually going into a store or mall and maybe without even getting out of your car. Excellent time management and was deemed likely to have a high success ratio with the ladies. Think about it - Its wrapped and will probably even have ribbon or a bow on it somewhere. This will even work for the procrastinator.
Ahhh…Christmas is just around the corner. What should I do?