Saturday, December 13, 2014

Christmas Prayer - Soft as a Whisper

This post is one from the past that touched you as well as me - I hope it is meaningful again. Thanks for reading. 

Good morning Lord. This past week has been full of pressures and it has been hard to feel you at all.  If you were in it – I missed it. So here I sit this morning. The lights of the Christmas tree shining bright speaking of holiday, rejoicing and happiness; but I am weary.
Is this how it has always been? Is this what you expected and wanted? I know these questions I asked are stupid. But, what has happened? To shift my thoughts toward you I find it hard and uncomfortable, even scary. To even talk to you is uncomfortable and I feel afraid to come up close. Is it because of my smallness next to your vastness or your infiniteness next to my finiteness? Or my unavoidable death and your forever? Or is it you being all powerful and I being fragile and weak? There is also your complete and unlimited knowledge and then my lack of understanding and the questions that haunt me. And of course, there is always your holiness lighting up my sinfulness and then I want to hide.
I would have expected you to come in thunder or lightening or maybe even riding an asteroid, for after all you are God, the all powerful One. But no, you came softly in less than a whisper, as a baby, small, helpless, weak, fragile, in an obscure stable of all places.  Did you come in this manner so I would not be frightened and not run and hide? I wonder…..
I am trying to not hide, and I am thankful for the story, so sweet and I begin to inch close to you. But to read on, later the story turns sad, horrible, and I want to hide again. I read of your grief, your suffering, the tears you shed, the loneliness you felt, the rejection by those close to you, and then of course comes the real horror, a cross.
If that was the end, the story would have no meaning. But, then the story changes and lifts the sadness - the power of death is torn down by your resurrection. If I continue to hide and miss the story, it does not change its power does it? If I hide and ignore the story, it does not change the fact you came.  And that whisper, if I am not careful or quite, I will miss it and the story will have no effect.
Now that the rush is over, now that the presents have been place under the tree, help me be quiet, help me not miss hearing your whisper….


Choco said...

I could identify with this post. Ive felt that way about God, a lot recently. Though I/we still, cannot hide from his vastness, or from the miracles... the peace.... associated with him.
Merry Christmas in adv to u n ur family Gq ♡♡♡♡ God Bless :)

Arkansas Patti said...

Just beautiful and real GQ. You speak my heart as well.

Anita Jeyan said...

This is more meaningful than the usual Christmas sermons I hear at church. I loved this.

troutbirder said...

Christmas morning.... Perfect. Thanks for sharing the quiet thoughts. :)

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

Such a great post. Glad I didn't miss it. Your words spoke volumes to me.
Happy New Year

Debra said...

"... but I am weary."

And I so know what you mean!

Wonderful post that expresses so well what so many of us identify with.

Jenn Jilks said...

This is a lovely post.

Hilary said...

Hiya Grayquill.. wishing you and yours a Happy New Year.. from me and mine (Frank). ;)

Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMotte said...

At this stage in life hope for peace in our afterlife is what makes weary less of a burden. But I have stopped being a serious Christian a while ago. I am more of a one God for all but not serious about daily rituals. The spiritualness can still be effective. Inner peace is intact. Buddy and I are close to God in our own way.
But your story is touching and powerful.
Hope you are enjoying the New Year and the wee lad:-)