Monday, February 20, 2012

A Father's Day

The promise of spring is on the calendar and spring time is certainly a season offering new life, warmer days, and more light. Have I told you lately, I appreciate each and every one of you? I neglect the important.

I am posting a chapter from my book this morning. I have not been in the mood for writing and would certainly have had a tough time writing anything new that would add a smile or encourage. The past several weeks have been full of darkness; a past evil once again requiring time and effort but reaping few results. I believe in the principle, 'What is beyond my control is within my influence.' This round of influence has had a net zero result. That is the thing about a principle, they are not 100% true but they are generally true. I have not given up on the principle for I have many times seen it work. The good news is, my family and myself are well.
I hope you find the following story encouraging and I think it is a great example of what is beyond our control is within our influence. As you read the story, ask yourself who is watching you.
A Fathers Day

It is great to be honored by one’s own children.
Sunday was Father’s Day. My two daughters were out of town, but my son came by to see me. The conversation we had wound around through many subjects and past a few monuments. Along the trail, we came to the monument of his minor fathers, the men who impacted him in his childhood. How grateful I am for these wonderful men.
The many hours my son spent at different friend’s homes resulted in many hours of observing, or at times direct interactions, with these men. Some were good bad examples, but most were good examples. They filled in many holes and blank spots I either was incapable of teaching or just missed. Some examples were reinforcements of lessons I hoped to impart - faithfulness, loyalty, respect of women, trustworthiness, honesty, hard work, and compassion.
He talked about recently attending the celebration of one man’s 35th wedding anniversary and of the toast he gave to the man and his wife for being excellent role models in marriage. My son told me of times he noticed that Joel and Lori had disappeared on a walk, and later, they would return holding hands, smiling and talking.
I can think back to a time a father told me about working alongside his son and my son. They did yard work for many hours, and the man had given my son a compliment for being a good worker. But, I knew the real gift had been the two young boys doing hard work alongside the man, and that day was a step or two closer toward their own manhood. You see, I already knew about the many hours of work because I saw the glow on my son’s young face beaming with pride as he earlier had recounted the affirming words he had been given by the father for his hard work.
Another father was a very good business man and understood investments. Another man treated his wife badly, and my son saw the pain and the shame. Another man was a hard worker but could also play. Most of the men were good examples of living strong moral lives and being men of high character. I am thankful that my son had other men who ingrained into him what real manhood looked like.
He has these images and impressions of what manhood looks like, and now I am so proud of the man he is becoming  has become - a man of high character.
So, to the minor fathers of my son – thank you! You probably did not even know that you were being watched.


Sylvia K said...

A great post for the day, thanks for sharing a part of your book! I do appreciate the men and women who have been an influence in my children's lives. I am proud of the men and women they have grown into. The children's Dad died on Jan 8 and it has been a very difficult time for them, but their strength and resilience has been wonderful to see. Have a great week.


Shrinky said...

I'm sorry to hear you are walking through trying times right now, I'm thinking of you, and know you'll rise above whatever it may be. Good or bad, all things pass eventually - I hope what troubles you will soon be just a vague memory.

Yes, there is a wise saying that it takes a whole village to raise a child. Sadly, more and more miles seem to distance close family and friends, and it's not something we can always take for granted anymore. It looks like you have raised your children with firm roots, and a stong sense of belonging, a sure recipe to ensure they know the value and worth of those who surround them.

Anita Jeyan said...

This is a touching write-up and I am sending this to my father - because he remembers his parents and uncles and everyone who made an impact in his life. He also makes it a point to visit them as many are very old and bed ridden now. He will love this post as much as I did.

Arkansas Patti said...

I am glad you are all well but sorry for what ever darkness has invaded your life.
I was thinking this story was the Father's Day post from GrayQill Musings but this was a new one.
Well done per ususal. Glad your son was able to gleen good from the bad expamples.

Linda at To Behold The Beauty said...

I'm sorry to hear of the trial you're going through now, GQ. I hope you'll soon see the light at the end of the tunnel...and that, when you do, it won't be an oncoming train.

It's true that we learn from virtually everyone we encounter in our lives, but we don't always take the time to analyze how each has impacted us. Your son shows wisdom and insight.

Hilary said...

We are all responsible for raising the children we encounter just as our own lives were influenced by those around us. We can always learn from one another. Hopefully.

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with sometimes right now. I'll send my best thoughts your way. I hope it settles for you soon.

Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMotte said...

Here's hoping the lighter days will bring you out of that dark spot. I seem to be there too. Guess it's just the after mass of all that's just gone by in this home. Buddy keeps on smiling and that just keeps me wishing for more.
It's great that there are many to help influence the goodness in our kids, but there are some who shake them all to a nasty place and that's when one pray their roots are strong to withstand that storm,
You've had some good sources too. It's in the book.

Anonymous said...

I feel I have read this story before in your blog. I remember finding it to be very inspiring at the time.

Our prayers will always be with you and your family GQ. You are an amazing blogger and a true friend. Light will form around the darkness dispelling it forever. Take Care.

Unknown said...

Hello GQ! I hope you are well. I am also under some evil spell that i wish to escape from very soon.

I am much influenced by my own late father. He was strong willed, very passionate about the things he believed in, quick to laughter and never forgot any slight he endured. I only failed to inherit his easy going ways, fast to make friends and choosing the right path.

Well, i am his son, yet i am not him, eh?

Arkansas Patti said...

Thank you so much for stopping by GQ and you are right, losing a friend sucks. That word does sum it up.

Dianne said...

lovely story
kind of makes me think of 'it takes a village'

my car door slammed me right in the shoulder, I was not bent over
but it's OK, I really don't need that shoulder

Hope sends hugs