Saturday, January 28, 2012

In the Outhouse

“What is funny?”

“Oh…poop is funny! No, really poof is almost always funny!”

Well, poop on your shoe is not funny but poop on your brother’s shoe – that is hilarious.

Years ago when I was board at church I could easily entertain myself and get though any boring service by simply picking up the hymnal, start reading song titles and add to the end of each title the simple phrase, ‘In the outhouse.’

“Joy Everlasting” in the outhouse.

 “Peace like a River” in the outhouse. 

“Blessed Assurance” in the outhouse.

“Made Free” in the outhouse.

“Each Day I’ll Do a Golden Deed” in the outhouse.

“Eternal Peace” in the outhouse.


Just one more….”Trying to get a Glimpse” in the outhouse….”Climbing Higher and Higher” in the outhouse. Sorry, I know that was two but I couldn’t help myself.

As you can see a 10 year old boy and a long boring sermon could be handled easily. I remember giggling and my mother pinching me to be quiet. If she had a clue the depths of depravity her young son had sunk, a much stronger deterrent would be been applied. Now my dad if he knew what I was up to, he would probably have dived right in to my sea of debauchery.

I guess I should apologize for this poopy blog post. It is hard to describe what sewer I pulled this out of but am relieved that it is now over and that it has all worked out.

So, if you are sitting in church and your son or grandson is giggling with his head buried in a song book. Turn a way, ignore him….you don’t really want to go there.

Hmmm....this was way funnier when I wrote it. What happened?


Arkansas Patti said...

That is funny GQ, just the way you wrote it. Wish I had a devious friend like you when I was trying to stay awake in church as a kid.

Sylvia K said...

I love your outhouse sense of humor! Just what I needed to start the weekend with a giggle -- and I don't even have a song book handy!! Don't know what prompted this post, but glad it did! Enjoy your weekend -- in or out of the outhouse!!


Hilary said...

Is that "What happened..." in the outhouse?

This was a bad time to have brought my lunch to the computer. ;)

But it confirms that men are always still little boys.

NIM said...

hahaha! good one...

Linda at To Behold The Beauty said...

So THAT'S what those kids are doing who look so engrossed in the hymnals.

This was funny and gave some insight into the mental exercises of those short people who live among us. Although, it doesn't seem to stop when they're no longer short. I know a guy who likes to add "in bed" when reading fortunes found in fortune cookies.

Betty said...

It WAS fully. Can't you hear me laughing?

Unknown said...

That is funny. Really.
At least the fun you had was in your had and not really hurting anyone.
Have you seen children burning ants with a magnifying lens in the sun, and giggling?
I found that disturbing.
BECAUSE when I did it, I was dead serious to see them exterminated.

Dianne said...

I LOVE doing a golden deed in the outhouse!!
little boys and poop - happy together

thanks for checking on me
I'm doing better

Jenny Woolf said...

This was funny! I can just imagine you as that pesky little kid, amazing how kids always do think of this stuff!

troutbirder said...

How come it's always the male gender that finds sophmoric humor so enticing, he says, being a perpetrator himself?

Pat said...

I will never understand the mind of boys/men, I imagine just as men will never understand the mind of girls/women. It does cause that eternal attraction to try to figure each other out though.
This revealing little story just adds one more poopy demention to you....and I mean that in the nicest way!

Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMotte said...

Ah the joy of youth:)

Shrinky said...

Ha, so THAT'S what my kids found so funny? Hmmmn.. should've known! Thanks for the confession, and good chuckle.

Marsha Young said...

Although I am rarely bored in church - but if I ever am, now I know the cure.

Of course, it is worse than the disease, but oh well .... :)