Sunday, November 28, 2010

Ginger and my GLB

Ginger and Uncle H were the main topic two posts back. We are about to find out that Uncle H is not the only one to have a Ginger story. My Great Liberal Brother (GLB) also has a story or two, and here they are.
GLB is much older than I. How much older you ask? Let’s just say if I wanted to be mean, I could call him my Great Ancient Liberal Brother (GALB). In my brother’s defense in regards to his antiquity, I also remember Ginger, although I am not sure if they are actual memories or merely impressions fabricated from the stories I heard.
I should also mention, these stories for the most part have been placed into the Urban Legend category. You see my brother is a liberal and it is a known fact, all liberals exaggerate and often tell flat out lies. We might find out later in this short writing that it is not really his fault he’s a liberal, so let’s all have a little grace on the poor fellow for the moment. I realize that there are at least three readers who might disagree with my conclusions, but heck is it my fault they must have got a bump on their noggins somewhere along the line?
The reason is still unclear by the author how it is that our family gained temporary custody of Ginger. If you want to take the word of my GLB, it is all on you. He says, my uncle and aunt were on a trip and they needed someone to watch the large palomino; that reason is as good as another I suppose.
During the said time Ginger was in our custody; my GLB decided to take Ginger for a ride. At the time he was only eight years old and too short to muster a saddle on the tall horse, therefore he rode bare back. It was only to be a short ride which lends creed to the no saddle option. How the bridle was managed, only an eight year old knows for sure. From a fence post, the side of a wagon or maybe a boost from his older brother who was nine years old, my GLB landed on the back of Ginger. Ginger was no dummy and knew an eight year old was no match for his wily ways. Out of the yard GLB took Ginger. They went into the upper field that had been freshly plowed which ends up being fortunate for GLB. No sooner had Ginger turned the corner into the field then he took the bit in his teeth, thus removing all control from the master eight year old horseman. He took off like he was shot out of a catapult. The little boy hung on to rein and mane for dear life. Ginger streaked across the field, dirt flying high from hoofs. At this point my GLB decided it was time for a new plan. With only the courage, I mean foolishness young boys have, my GLB decide to dismount by letting himself not jump, not fall, but slide off the side of the racing palomino, which of course is exactly what he did. The soft plowed earth gave my GLB a good dusting as he rolled to a stop and watched Ginger head off for who knows where. My GLB was unhurt, so the story goes. I do wonder if he might not have cracked his head, after all he grew up and became a liberal.
The actual crack in the head probably happened a few days or hours later. Now my GLB has always been known for being smart but I do have to wonder from this next Ginger experience how smart he really is. If I had slid off a galloping horse because he took off on me, it would be a good piece of time before I got back on him.
My father had the mumps and was in bed. This required my mother and oldest brother to do the milking, leaving free time for GLB to be unsupervised; a very bad idea. He of course, as you guessed decided to ride Ginger once more bareback. This time he was using the horse to tormenting his five year old sister. She was standing on the stock trailer while GLB rode Ginger at a good gallop right at her (gee I wonder how sister came to be on the stock trailer?). At the last minute GLB would veer off and ride on by her. This of course had all the desired effects, much screaming. How many times these moments of ecstasy were repeated, I do not know. I am pretty sure like most big brothers, he wanted each scare to intensify, so getting a little closer each time was a requirement. The last scare ended abruptly. Just as GLB was ready to turn Ginger to the left, Ginger did an emergency stop. GLB shot over Ginger’s head as smooth as if he was a blob of milk being squirted straight from the teat of a cow. GLB’s head stopped his fall when it contacted the steel tongue of the stock trailer.
My mother had a policy, no blood, no doctor. How GLB managed this feat without drawing blood is beyond me. My mother had another policy, no fever or barf, then, ‘get to school’. My mother received a phone call the next day from the school teacher saying GLB’s eyes looked wrong. The teachers report was enough for mother to take GLB to the doctor. Thus a diagnosis and a doctor’s cure – a severe concussion and bed rest for two weeks.
Now a tale has been told and it is clear, my GLB did indeed fall on his head, resulting in him becoming a liberal.
So, here is my question - Dianne, Betty, and Arkansas Patti, did ya’all fall on your head at some point?


Uncle H will return on the next post…I promise.


17 comments:

Bill S. said...

What a great story. We have a few of them floating around in our history. The older I get the more I believe them.

Arkansas Patti said...

As a matter of fact I did have a noggin buster, but it was after I was all ready settled firmly left of center. Using your logic, that should have shoved me over to the right?? Sorry big guy.
Loved your mom's diagnostic yardstick.
I do appreciate your GLB and glad he is in your family for checks and balances. Keep up the good work GLB. I still think your post on GQ's blog was outstanding.
Great story per usual GQ.

Sylvia K said...

Great story as always, but like Dianne and Arkansas Patti, despite head banging I chose to be left of center, too. Have a lot questions for both sides these days though! Look forward to your next post! Have a great week!

Sylvia

Wendy said...

Yikes - a severe concussion! Not fun.
I once took my 2 year old sister for a ride in my bicycle basket. Can you imagine? I stopped suddenly and she fell out - right on the road. Luckily, she was o.k. (she'll be 50 this year) and I never told my mother!

Linda said...

Love this story! Well written. Funny. Great insight into liberalism. :)

Anita :) said...

Hehe loved the post, GLB and your views !!! I also loved Wendy's comment here :D

Arkansas Patti said...

To answer your question---That is a slang term, an 'ebonic' expression that was used by Trace Adkins in a CW song. "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk."
Ba-Donk-A-Donk -- sounds like it is spelled. Isn't that more fun to say than butt?

troutbirder said...

Yes a fun story from the past. And we do all have our crosses to bear. I myself have two GWFRPB's. That would be Great White Fasco Racist Paranoid Brothers myself. I'm often reminded of them when I hear our parents turning over in their graves.

GLB said...

Hmmmm......great story.......but a few points of clarification.......

If I remember my college math, and subtracted correctly using that 99 cent calculator you gave me, I am not THAT much older than you.
During the Noggin Knockin' event, I believe I was riding in a saddle.....of course I can't be sure, I was knocked silly that day. I'm not sure how long I was out, but at least long enough for Mom to run from the barn to wherever I landed, because she was there when I woke up.

To mount Ginger required leading him up to a rail fence, and then hoping he didn't move too far while I climbed up the fence and jumped on.

It is my considered opinion that persons of superior intellect become Liberal in their political beliefs as a matter of choice, having nothing to do with falling off horses.......;-)

Loved the story!
GLB

Grayquill said...

Bill S: Thanks, The older you get the more you believe them? Is that because when you reflect on your own stories, the others begin to sound normal?

Arkansas Patti: I remember that noggin buster…you see I figure it did shove you to the right…your reasonable. And, that is not normal for one that carries the big “L.” On the balance issue…I will have to think on that. Lastly, thanks for your kind words. You are always a lady!

Sylvia K: I left you off the list? How did I do that? I am so embarrassed. I had a great weekend – Thanks.

Wendy: Seriously? – That gave me a good laugh – Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I am glad you chose my blog to confess. I am honored.

Linda: Thank you and Thank you and Thank you and Thank you. You’re the best!

Anita: Wendy’s comment should make a blog post – and maybe her sister would come make a comment, that would be interesting. I wonder if her sister remembers that tumble.

Arkansas Patti: I suppose I have heard that song – but I can’t recall it. Thanks

Troutbirder: Well one thing my GLB is not, a racist nor is he paranoid. I am sorry for your loss – Did your brothers come to Thanksgiving? I can only imagine the wonderful time it must have been. HEE HEE… Sorry – that was probably kind of mean. :-)

GLB: Thank you!!! How did I know there would be a few points. Hmmm….Oh yeah, now I remember, you’re my older brother. I didn’t know you were knocked unconscious – that had to be a good long piece.
Now….The thing about you falling on your head and somehow making an intelligent choice…… I will leave you with a comment, much like an irritating little brother might. ‘Denial is a pleasant place to live, I have notice you seem happier lately.’ :-)
Thanks for the comment. You gave me a good laugh and made my day.
I love you!!!

Dianne said...

I KNEW I was one of the 3 even before I saw my name in lights at the end of the post
And I'm in such good company

I don't recall a bump on the head but I did break my nose when I was a teen, maybe that's how I came to be able to smell the BS
hehehehehehehe

I love the story

and I gotta tell you, your last 2 comments on my last 2 posts - see liberals can add - have been hilarious

Hope sends hugs
tomorrow I'm taking her to a babies for corporate regulations rally

Pat said...

I flipped over in a go cart when I was ten, but because of my strong constitution and fine upbringing I remain a conservative. To add even more credence ...this happened while living in California, see, miracles do happen.
Another great post GQ, you managed to offend no one, as far as I can tell!

Choco said...

Lol! We have a phrase in Hindi for what you did in this post. It goes something like this: "Ek teer se do shikaar"...
Well Done GQ! Twas a good read :)

Shadowthorne @ Ramzu Zahini said...

Ha ha ha! That's a vicious one dude!

I also say to my student if their mother ever dropped them while still a baby - whenever they got too rowdy.

And your mom's policies! You should write more about them! I wanna hear more!

HusbandClothes said...

This is a keeper!

"...it is a known fact, all liberals exaggerate and often tell flat out lies."

Oh wait, I'm an exaggerator and a liar. So maybe I'm just trying to trick you when I say I love your stories.

KleinsteMotte said...

I am enjoying reading these but cannot tell if this is fact or fiction. Maybe I'm not reading very carefully??

KleinsteMotte said...

I must learn to read posts I missed in order so my comments are relevant. Sorry.