Friday, May 14, 2010

Giant Ears

It has bothered me for sometime that hair grows out of my ears in the oddest places. This oddity has caused me an inordinate amount of wasted time.
Yesterday with clippers in hand, I noticed my ears seem bigger than ever before, and I guess maybe it could be true.
Somewhere I read that ears never stop growing…one study I read stated that our ears grow about 100th of an inch per year. I think this study must be factual because I have often been mesmerized by the size of old people’s ears. If you think I have it wrong and don’t believe me take a peek the next time you see an old person.
Let me pass some logic on that could make this ear growth phenomena more flappable. As we get older our hearing declines, if a greater mass is available to ensnare sound vibrations, it would help us hear better in our old age. I can only assume God had this in mind when this feature was installed on His earliest models. After all, they lived a whole lot longer than we do today. Hearing aids had not been invented, so the need to keep those old guys hearing would have been real challenge. If we think about this a minute, we can see this left God in a bit of a quandary. He had to design the ear with a growth rate that would keep up with the hearing loss but not exceed one’s ability to hold his chin up.
Something else to consider…. If an average ear is say 16 -17 picas (2.5 inches long) and the Bible states Methuselah lived to be 965 years old. That would make old Methuselah’s ears pretty gosh darn big… 2.5 inches + 9.65 inches would = 12.15 inches. Wow that’s a big set of flappers.
Noah apparently would have also had his own big ear bragging rights. He lived to be 950 years old. It all seems kind of creepy thinking about ears that big. After all wouldn’t they begin to get in the way? Imagine there is Noah building the ark and he leans low to see that nail and whacks himself right in the ear lobe with his hammer. Hmmm…maybe that is where the idea of pierced ears came from. And take the hunter with nine inch long ears. He pulls the bow string back, a tangle ensues and then came the release –OUCH! That had to hurt!
Now when we think of Adam’s ears, the calculations would be impossible. The bible doesn’t really say how old Adam was when sin entered the world and he had to leave the garden. What if Adam and Eve lived a couple of thousand years before committing that first sin. His ears could have been dragging in the dirt by the time he left the garden. Now I am not saying that’s the way it was but it is something to think about.
I hope you all got an earful.

24 comments:

Choco said...

Ahahahaaa :))
How does your brain work GQ? How can you even think like this?? You sir are very odd... And that is a good thing! :D

PS: We have immortal beings in the Hindu scriptures. For example Hanuman.(google him sometime, he is mighty cool!). I cannot even begin to imagine what his ears must be like now. He has been around for ever and is supposed to be around for all eternity. Just imagine the amount of wax his ears will produce if your theory is true!!! Wowie! :o

PPS: "It has bothered me for something that hair" - I think you meant somtime

Gotta run now. Wasn't even supposed to be online. Angry friend waiting downstairs!

Choco said...

Ohh. And this post was completely ROFL!!! :D

As the Mind Meanders said...

This is the funniest thing i have read in ages. Noahs ears and hammer trouble had me rolling on the floor. :D

I dunno about ypur ears but your writing seems to get better and better with time GQ.

What was that someone had said about getting better with age :D :D

Debra said...

Oh gee...thanks for reminding a lady how big her ears are! LOL! All I can is think about how huge my ears are and how old I am! Ha! Too funny!

Amrita said...

Lend me your ears - this post was great GQ.

I started to lose my hearing in my 20s. I have otoschlerosis. I guess my ears are growing larger too.

Arkansas Patti said...

Just a delightful post GQ. Your mind goes where no mind has gone before.
Recently got my short summer do and wondered whose ears I had suddenly obtained. They sure weren't mine.
Can't wait for the hair to grow back and cover those whoppers. Heard the same thing happens to our nose. Yikes.

Sylvia K said...

LOL! What a hoot! Have to go with A.Patti, your mind goes where no mind has gone before!! Definitely got my weekend off to a laughing good start! Hope you and your ears have a wonderful weekend! Aren't the blue skies wonderful!!!

Sylvia

Anita :) said...

wooooww Wild imagination...now its growing out of your ears as well..!! You had me thinking seriously abt ears now...and its link wit age!!!

AngelMc said...

hmmm you may be right......

Betty said...

Like Arkansas Patti, I also heard the same thing about noses. I don't know about my ears and nose, but I have grown all over, over time, so maybe they have just kept up with me.

Shadowthorne @ Ramzu Zahini said...

:) Thanks for commenting my humble entry.

I've got nothing against ears, but I think my nose is a bit bigger than it should :)

If you ask a good boy what ears are for; he'd answer 'For cleaning!'

Hope to hear more from you soon.

Susan Deborah said...

Methuselah lived for 969 years, if I got that right.
They say every time a person lies, his/her ears keep growing as a punishment. Hmmmmm.
Your ears look funny!
Where do you get these ideas for posting. Weirdo ones.

Joy always,
Susan

Grayquill said...

Choco: Obviously proofing is not my strength. Thank you!! What is really funny (at least to me) is after I read your comment yesterday I re-read the line in my blog and still could not see it. :( It wasn’t until this morning when I sat to type out this comment response that I read again.
Sorry to admit I don’t know about Hanuman – But I will be watching for the guy with massive ears – and a long tail.

Mr. Meander: Thanks for the compliments!!

Debra: Oh did I forget to tell you – this oddity is strictly male :) You can relax and step away from the mirror.

Amrita: Sorry to hear about that the otoschlerosis, all of our senses are important. How bad is it?

Arkansas Patti: Does that mean I get to be a Star Trek character? Oh sorry as I told Debra this only is inflicted on males – Maybe this tid bit of info will help you slip into denial. I will have to go check out my nose, Hmmm…..

Sylvia K: No the blue skies are not wonderful – they are awesome. I actually took my sweat shirt off and was down to only one layer in the afternoon – wooo everything felt a bit breezey. :)

Anita: I am glad I could help confuse the subject. Let her who has ears to listen hear.

AngelMc: I am :)

Betty: Just keeping up is a tough assignment sometimes but I like the growing all over – well not midsection part.

Shadow: I find it interesting, everyone I know has some facial feature they think is either too big or too small – I guess that makes you just like the rest of us. What about your coffee – is it not either too hot or too cold and never just right?” Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

Susan Deborah: Oh details…just like horse shoes, close, counts at that age.
Hey, are you calling me a weirdo? :)A

blunt edges said...

old people with ears as long as them doesn't make a pretty picture, but sure does make an entertaining read :)

The Survivor said...

Just wondering if a person's height also has some connection with the ears :D

Dianne said...

you could just grow your hair really long
then you'd be able to leave the ears be, they need a life too ya know

and you'd look like a rock star!

Frank Baron said...

One of the reasons I gleefully adopted the long hair fad of the 60s (and never really relinquished it) is because my ears stuck out. The long hair helped disguise that fact.

What I've found as the decades drifted by, is that my head has grown outwards some. Now my ears don't stick out like they did as a kid. So, technically, I could get a short haircut and still look more-or-less normal.

But I don't think I will. At almost 59, I haven't had to do any ear-hair clipping yet.

It's good to have something to look forward to in my old age.

silverine said...

LOL!! That was funny!

in India, large ears are a sign of great intellect.

Lynda G. said...

"The better to hear you with, my dear", said the big bad wolf! :D

$$ said...

Oh... lovely read! And what an imagination and observations :)

Grayquill said...

Blunt Edges: Maybe, beuaty is in the eyes of the earholder - Thanks

The Survivor: We will have to do a study – You take India and I will take the US. Let’s report back next Wednesday with our findings. The password will be 'big ear people'.

Dianne: I already look like a rock star – how did you not know that?

Frank Baron: I am a bit disturbed by your comment and the denial it implies. If you cut your hair you will probably have to come out of your denial.
@ Hilary: you better start shopping for those ear trimmers – father’s days is just around the corner.

Silverline: It’s the same in the Grayquill house – it’s a visual fact of my great intelligence.

Lynda: I hearby as dictator in Grayquill Land give Lynda the clever award.

$$: Why, Thank you!

Lynda G. said...

:D What an honour! I graciously accept! THANK YOU!

Anonymous said...

you know as i go along from one place of interest to another i sometimes run into people i know. then i find i could even be related to that person, & look what he does. I am surprised to find this site, you know i really like it. i think it is really good & wonder what else he writes. I am glad i found this site & to know another side of you. Also to know you a little better then just being my brother-in-law son. HELLO grayquill from auntie barbieido@q.com

Grayquill said...

Lynda G: Your graciousness is admirable and you are welcome.

Anonymous: Well isn't this a nice surprise!
Thank you for the kind words. You made my day!